Friday, December 3, 2010

Secret #22

I always feel really weird looking up people on Facebook while I'm on campus.

I'm always worried that the person that I look up will end up being the person sitting next to me, and then they'll look at me and be like, "That girl is a total creep!"

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Doing it again

I love the word rediculous.

Because essentially it means, "You're doing the diculous again."

Friday, November 26, 2010

November 26

Today, I'm thankful for:

Family. Especially my uber cute nieces and nephews. :)

Kagan: for everything that he is. There's not one thing about him that I'm not thankful for.

Funny websites.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

November 25

Today, I'm thankful for:


That I have so much to be grateful for.

That I feel no shame in having a Christmas tree up now, and will be putting up the rest of my Christmas decorations soon!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

November 24

Today, I'm grateful for:

New canisters in my kitchen for storage. Yay for having a real kitchen!

For our awesome Christmas tree (we do have it up, but only because we don't have room for it anywhere else. It has lights on it, but I refuse to turn them on until after tomorrow's Thanksgiving festivities).

That I found out how to fix my fish tank filter and that our fish are happy and clean again.

Empty Country Time Lemonade jars.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

November 23

Today, I'm thankful for:

The fact that I am safe (even though there was nothing to worry about with the "blizzard").

For a husband who just lets me cry.


Monday, November 22, 2010

November 22

Today, I'm thankful for:


"We need to be more grateful. It's one of the marks of strong character, to have a feeling of thanksgiving and gratitude for blessings that are ours. We need more of that spirit in our homes, in our daily associations, in church, everywhere. It's so easy to cultivate the spirit of appreciation."

-Ezra Taft Benson

Sunday, November 21, 2010

November 21

Today, I'm thankful for:

Snow, but not the snow we had today. Not the wind blowing, nearly hail kind of snow. I like the nice snow that falls peacefully and makes you think of Santa.

That I was able to finish preparing for a test sooner than I expected.

Pianos that are in tune. Also, metronomes.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

November 20

Today, I'm thankful for:

My husband! All 24 years of him (which we celebrated today!). He is wonderful and inspiring and makes me happier than any description.

Getting home, and taking your shoes off at the end of the day.

Electric razors.

Friday, November 19, 2010

November 19

Today, I'm thankful for:

Power outages.

Easy-ish tests. Especially when they only take you 45 minutes and you planned for over an hour.

A clean house and a husband who is more than willing to clean it with me.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

November 18

Today, I'm thankful for:

The fact that my husband and I walk in sync. I heard once on the radio (courtesy of John Tesh's Tips for a Better Life) that couples who are happy walk in sync. It's always something I've thought about, and I notice it every time we walk together. :)

That I will soon be done with all these bloody tests and then I get to go home.

Little Debbie's snacks.

Growing up

I really, truly, sincerely hope that I don't turn into one of those moms who loses all senses of grammar and spelling once I start having kids.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

November 17

Today, I'm thankful for:

Easy finals. They come so rarely, but it's such a happy day when they do.

People who take their own food into fast food restaurants to eat.

The new layout of my blog (also if anyone knows how to make my image on the top be centered...your help would be greatly appreciated).

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

November 16

Today, I'm thankful for:

Wedding pictures!! (see them all here)

Warm clothes.

Not studying and watching YouTube videos with friends instead.

Normal post?

I love people who type really hard.

I'm sitting in the Wilk (supposed to be studying, as is normal this week, but I'm not, as is normal this week) on my computer, and there's a guy next to me on his computer. He's writing a paper. Also, I think they've reinforced his keys with steel guards underneath. Because, if they haven't, I'm sure his hard drive is suffering some major blunt force trauma.

I think it's really important, even if you're part of a large, successful company, for people to look over the images and ads you send out to the public.

For example, Kagan and I were driving the other day and I saw a sign that left me feeling used and stereotyped. It was a billboard, made by a housing company, and the point of the ad was to get people to want to buy houses in their subdivisions. The text of the ad said, "We're like, everywhere, and stuff. Whatever." I think the purpose of the ad was to tell the consumer, "Hey, you should buy our houses, because anywhere you want to live, we're there! We have awesome houses! We can relate to the younger generation! BUY OUR HOUSES PLEASE." But instead, it said, "Hey, you up coming generation of lazy texters and disrespecters, we can be just as disrespectful as you. We'll insult your intelligence by assuming that all of you are apathetic bums. You don't even know what buying a house entails, and that's why we're going to rip you off, and you won't even see it coming. Oh yeah, and buy our houses. We guess." I don't know about you other "Generation Y's/Millennials" out there, but I found this extremely offensive.

I think what bugs me about it more than anything is that a company that sells HOUSES (especially in Utah) targets the 'young family' audience--people recently married, maybe with 1 or 2 kids, looking to buy their first house and settle down. Generally, those people are at least fairly responsible adults. They're not looking to be targeted into the apathetic teenager category anymore. And this ad does just that--demotes those people back down to the apathetic teenager category. I don't know about the (probably) hundreds of thousands of people who see that ad, but it made me not want to ever buy a house from that company. Just based on that one billboard.

Ok. I'm done with that example. Lets try another one. Check out this picture:

The description for this shirt is "V-neck tee with gathering detail at neckline and shoulder seam."

I'm not going to tell you what company I saw this at because I do like this company's clothing in general, but seriously? Based on your picture, there is NO WAY the consumer would have been able to tell that there was gathering detail at the neckline and the shoulder seam. If you look really closely at the right side, you can see some of the said gathering on the sleeve. I just wish they'd had someone look at that picture and say, "So, you've got a girl in a white shirt with a white background. Not the best option for showing people the detail on your clothing." That's all it would have taken. But instead, I have no idea what the front of the shirt actually looks like.

I'm sure that you're probably thinking that maybe they only sell that shirt in white, or that maybe they only had a white background, etc. Even if they did only have a white background for her to stand in front of (which isn't true, most of their pictures don't have a white background), this shirt came in 6 different colors.

Sometimes this stuff makes me think I should pursue a career in advertising. But then I realize that I'm only good at finding the ads that are sucky, and not good at thinking up good ads. Oh well. Back to zookeeping for me.

Monday, November 15, 2010

November 15

Today, I'm thankful for:


Facial expressions.

Sleeping in.

Photoshop class (and the weird people there).

Sunday, November 14, 2010

November 14

Today, I'm thankful for:

An easy calling, and one that I can do with my husband.


That I don't have to take the bus to get places (yet...).

Saturday, November 13, 2010

November 13

Today, I'm thankful for:

Tucanos. Yum...

Kagan getting a new razor so he can shave again.

A clean house.

Friday, November 12, 2010

November 12

Today, I'm thankful for:

The fact that Becky appreciates my every day blog posts. :)

That I have a good job(s).

Paints and paintbrushes.


Thursday, November 11, 2010

November 11

Today, I'm thankful for:

Goldfish (the wholesome snack that smiles back until you bite their heads off).

Holiday decorations that are appropriate for the most current holiday (like Thanksgiving decorations rather than Christmas decorations).


Sleep talking.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

November 10

Today, I', thankful for:


Conservation Biology (not the class, but the action).


Finishing classes before the semester ends.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

November 9

Today, I'm thankful for:

Bad days, but only because they make the good days so much better.

Candy corn.

Smash burger.

The extremely enthusiastic guy who works at FedEx, because he always makes it so much more enjoyable to go there.

That my goldfish know how to beg for food in a way that they know will make me feed them.

Monday, November 8, 2010

November 8

Today, I'm thankful for:

Internet (but not so much the fact that my life can fall apart without it).

That I had such great pictures taken of my wedding.

Costa Vida leftovers. YUM!!!

Viral Video Film School

America's Next Top Model.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

November 7

Today, I'm thankful for:

People who know how to use grammar.

That I'm not pregnant, and that some people are.

My husband, who can cook wonderfully (and much better than I can).

Cross stitching!

Saturday, November 6, 2010

November 6

Today, I'm thankful for:

4 laundry baskets full of clean clothes.


Family :)

Friday, November 5, 2010

November 5

Today, I'm grateful for:

Going out to Costa Vida for dinner.

When work goes fast.

Typos that make funny words when you don't mean them to.

Crunchy leaves to step on.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

November 4

Today, I'm grateful for:

No homework Thursday!!

Having just enough lemon juice for fish tacos.

Having just enough flour for cookies.

Finding out what betta fish look like when they fight.

This sentence, taken directly from a textbook about mating betta fish: "At this point the female must make a hasty retreat or risk severe harassment from the randy male." Basically, the fact that my textbook used the word randy.

This blog, shared by my one and only.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

November 3

Today, I'm grateful for:

My wonderful husband. I never could have dreamed of marrying anyone better.

That we get to go to Coeur d'Alene for Thanksgiving!! I get to see most of my immediate family! Also, Kagan will get to see the lighting of the trees and Coeur d'Alene when it's got all the Christmas lights and excited.

Candy corn.

Thanksgiving decorations.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

November 2

Today, I'm grateful for:

Not having any more tests this week.

Clean underwear (and a washing machine that provides it).

That my hand still has feeling after about 8 full pages of writing for my Con Bio test.

Monday, November 1, 2010

November 1

Today, I'm grateful for:

Spare tires, which bring my husband home safely.

Being able to borrow a calculator from work for a test, and then doing the math in my head during the test.

Class being canceled.

Billy Joel. Enough said.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Reality check

I've been thinking a lot lately about my wedding. I look at other people's weddings and think how great they looked, or what they did that was so fantastic, what I could have or should have or wish that I had done or had for my wedding.

But as I thought about it today, I came to a realization. My wedding was better than any of theirs, even if they had a horse drawn carriage to ride in, hundreds of friends at their reception, or a chocolate fountain, or so many other things. When I look back on my wedding, it may no have been perfect. But I have something that none of them have. I get to be married to the person who makes me happier than I could have ever dreamed I'd be, the man who teaches me so much about myself and loves me so much in spite of my numerous shortcomings.

So when I look at a picture of someone's wedding and think, "Wow, her dress fits her so much better than mine did" or, "Her hair looks so pretty, I wish I'd done my hair that way (or just differently)" or, "She's so lucky, she had so many of her girlfriends who were able to be her bridesmaids," I realize that in the end, none of it matters. I had my best friends right there with me, few though they may have been. But I got to marry my best friend, and I get to spend forever with him. And no one can take that away from me.

Friday, October 1, 2010


Yay for October! The month of (hopefully) cooling temperatures (we've been in the 80's during the day here in Utah for most of the week), meaning that I can start wearing fall clothes and not sweat to death when I ride my bike to school each morning.

So, I haven't blogged for awhile. It's not because I haven't wanted to, either. I just...haven't had anything to blog about. I'm in school, working, and...well, that's just about all I do. Any of my free time is either spent doing homework or avoiding homework and spending time with my wonderful husband instead. Overall, my life is fairly uneventful. I guess that's what getting married does to you.

I realized last night that as of today, I have been married for two whole months. We've made it so far, I know. When I told Kagan that last night, he couldn't hardly believe it. It's funny how 2 months when you're engaged feels like an eternity, and 2 months when you're married just flies by.

I really don't have much to write about. I'll end with a plug for my other blog. Visit it here! I don't know when the last time you looked at it was, but there's some pretty funny stuff on there. Also some very happy things, as the name of the blog implies. Take a look!

Friday, September 3, 2010

Secret #21

I'm fairly certain that the drinking fountains on campus are conspiring against me. More to come on that...if I feel like it.

Double meaning

This morning as I was opening my office, which happens to be on the 7th floor of a rather tall building on campus, I looked out over the Utah valley. It was fairly early, so the sun was still rising over the valley. I realized that in most places, since the sun rises in the east, the sunlight spreads from east to west, correct? Well, because of the mountain range directly west of where we are, the sunlight actually ends up spreading from west to east.

What a backward place Utah valley is.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Secret #20

Now that I'm married, I attend a student married ward. Most people in the ward don't have kids, but a few do. Most of those kids are small babies, so the only distractions they provide are their cries (usually quelled quickly with a bottle) and their cuteness. However, there are a few couples with kids, probably 2 or 3 years of age.

Fact: I have a really hard time not judging people who let their children run wild during sacrament meeting.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010


Yep, I'm posting to show you more pictures! But we're pretty good-looking, so you can't complain, can you?

Here's the link to our pictures.

Our photographer, once again, is amazing. Those sunset shots are real. I can attest that the sunset actually looked that way. She didn't increase the saturation or anything.

We did this shoot on the 4th (well, actually the 3rd, but the 4th was on a Sunday, meaning most everyone in Utah celebrated it on the 3rd) of July, which is how we got the big fireworks in the background. It was a super fun shoot, and it was so worth it to give up my 4th for that!

P.S. I'm getting married in 11 days. I cannot wait!

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Secret #19

Engagement makes me not have time to do anything. Especially post on my blog.

On that note, our engagement pictures are online. Take a look. Our photographer is fantastic.

I have this problem...I don't like talking to strangers (stranger danger, anyone?).

Example: whenever I get a phone call from a number I don't know, I don't answer it. I just don't like talking to strangers.

Another example: when I am at home (which is rare), there's really only one person who visits me (I'll give you 3 guesses who, and the first 2 don't count). So, if I'm the only one home and someone comes to the door, I never answer it. My bedroom window looks out over the front door, so I usually just peek out that to see if I know who it is (which is hard to decipher, since I can usually only see the top of their head or their elbows and the backs of their legs). I hardly ever do, so I just ignore it, telling myself that if anyone asks, I was in the shower or my music was up loud. I just don't like talking to strangers.

Maybe this has happened because I'm sick of people coming to my door or calling me, wanting me to buy a newspaper subscription or a $50 bottle of cleaner or a starving student card that I absolutely do not need or want. Maybe strangers should go door to door wanting to tell you that you look nice that day, or wanting to give you money. Then I'd be much more willing to answer the door. Until that day, however...I'll remain alone in my dark room, creeping out the window at the top of people's heads.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Secret #18

It snowed today. Some guy was whistling "O Holy Night" waiting for the elevator outside my office. Happy...Christmas?

Kagan and I had our engagement pictures taken this last Saturday. Our photographer is Whitney Lewis and she is AMAZING.

Want to know who else is an amazing photographer? My sister. She's fantastic. Check it out.

I have such a great family. :)

Saturday, April 24, 2010

I hear wedding bells ringing...

You have no idea how long I've been keeping this in.


I would post pictures on here, but my computer has some retardation problems, so here are some links:

Here's a picture of my ring straight on, and here's one from the side.

Here's the setup where he proposed.

Incredibly happy.

The day he proposed started out as one of the worst days I'd had in a long time, but me made it one of the best days of my life. :) I love him!

Oh and for those of you who haven't already heard, Kagan Eden and I will be married on July 31, 2010 in the Manti Utah temple. We can't wait!

P.S. If you want to see all the pictures I posted for this, just click here.

P.P.S. I know many of you are probably thinking "Wait...weren't you going on a mission?" You are correct in thinking so. I had planned on going on a mission, but plans have changed. After much thought, prayer, and an overwhelming confirmation, I am confident that I have made the right decision, and that I'm going to be incredibly happy, married to my best friend. The Lord works in mysterious ways, but I'm glad He works things out the way he does! :)

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Secret #18

I've decided that when I have my first boy, his middle name will be


And I'm not even kidding.

Imagine the baby blessing in church.

Saturday, April 10, 2010


This is life:


At least, that's how it works for me.

My life is a whirlwind. And you know what?

I love it.

I cannot think of a time in my life when I have been happier than I am right now.

And it just keeps getting better.

Finals don't matter. Work doesn't matter. Plans don't matter. There's only one thing that does matter:

This is right. :)

Monday, March 29, 2010

Secret #17

I haven't posted in a long time. I don't have much time these days with which to spend doing much else than being incredibly happy (and slightly conflicted, albeit) and not wanting my days to turn to nights, and back into days again.

Alas, the world continues turning, daytime becomes nighttime, the world waits for the sun to rise, and it comes alive again.

The other night I went to a concert featuring a fantastic artist named Tyrone Wells. It was wonderful, for many reasons, the following being one of them.

"We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul—We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things."
13th Article of Faith

Tyrone isn't LDS, although probably most of us who didn't know much about him thought he was, from the way he acted during the show, and even some of the things he said.

I do know, however, that some of the songs that man sang filled my soul with the Spirit of the Lord, even if he didn't mean it to. The songs weren't religious at all, just happy. His music just made you feel good, and that's my point.

Each of us has been blessed with the Light of Christ, no matter who you are. All that is good comes of the Lord. And he shone with a light of goodness and happiness, the Light of Christ, in a way that I loved. He was just one of those people who makes you want to be a better person.

Doesn't that just brighten your day?

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Called to serve!!

I'm going on a mission!

"Dear Sister Roeller,

You are hereby called to serve as a missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You are assigned to labor in the Philippines Bacolod Mission. It is anticipated that you will serve for a period of 18 months.

You should report to the Provo Missionary Training Center on Wednesday, June 2, 2010. You will prepare to preach the gospel in the Tagalog language."

These few sentences have and will change my life in ways that I cannot even imagine.

This is me, opening my mission call. This was the smallest I could get this image and it still won't fit on the page, so if you feel the need to watch it in all its glory, click HERE. The video is kind of long, beginning with waiting for David Neilsen to get there (which I'm still mad about, by the way :P ) and ends with me ending conversations with my family on the phone and learning how to say the name of my mission. The middle part is the best, though. The part where I read it.

Enjoy! :)

Monday, March 8, 2010

I hope they call me on a mission

Only I don't hope I grow a foot or two before they do.


My papers are officially in! As in they are in Salt Lake, Church Headquarters, the real deal.

My bishop tells me that they issue the calls on Thursdays and then mail them out on Tuesdays. Most people in Provo get their calls on Wednesday. What does that mean for me?

It means that I could potentially have my call in my hand by March 17th--next Wednesday.

Could I be any happier?

Refer to the title of my blog for the answer to that question.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Secret #16

I have probably 5-10 blog posts that I haven't published, just saved in my dashboard, which remain unpublished for various reasons.

Some I just can't think of how I want to phrase them. Some I have written out completely, but it just isn't the right time to post them. Some I started to write, but then went back and realized it was total garbage, but I can't bring myself to delete all that hard work. And some I thought about the fact that I wanted to write them, jotted down the general idea, but I just can't bring myself to actually write them out.

I've thought a lot about what the hardest thing to leave behind will be when I'm on my mission. I've thought of books, my movies, my music, my friends, my family, my shoe collection, my non-missionary clothes, my phone, my computer, etc...but I think I've got it figured out. I think it will be the fact that I won't be able to call my mom, whenever I want, to tell her something, to ask her a question, or just to talk. I'll miss her. Going on a mission will be worth it, but that doesn't make it any easier to leave it behind.

Saturday, February 20, 2010


So today I competed in my very first open ballroom competition. I danced in the Novice level, which consists of waltz and quickstep, and in the Pre-Champ level, which consists of waltz, tango, fox trot, and quickstep.

Considering the conditions (my partner and I have only been dancing together for a month, and in that month I've learned all four dances, and especially that i FINISHED learning the fox trot and the tango routines *this week*), we did okay. Not great, but okay. I'm considering it a practice round, because it was my first time competing. Next up: Nationals, in one month. Crazy!

Now to the real point of this post. Because of my competition, I put on fake nails. I hate wearing fake nails. They're completely debilitating. It's taken me twice as long to write this post because I can hardly type. I've moped and moaned about them all day, and I just discovered a major upside to these nails.

I started to take my hair out (not literally out, but I had it in a fancy updo, and that's what I was taking out), and then I started brushing it out with my fingers. And that's when I discovered it: the best feeling in the world is fake fingernails on your scalp. Especially when your hair has been glued to your head all day. It's heavenly.

Thank you, Heavenly Father, for giving me these fake nails, and then giving me the opportunity to see the bright side of things.

*I just noticed another good thing about these nails. I love the clicking sound they make when I use the track pad on my computer. :)

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Secret #15

Things that are funny when they're happening to someone else, but not so funny when they're happening to you:
1) Running while wearing a backpack.

2) Trying to push open a door, only to realize that you're supposed to pull it.

a) Expecting a door to be really heavy and pulling on it really hard, only to have it fly open.

3) Getting locked out of your apartment while it's raining and you have class in 15 minutes

4) Finding out that something went wrong at work and having to be the one to tell your boss.

5) Finding out that all your life you thought a word was pronounced one way, only to find that you've been saying it wrong your whole life. And finding out by saying it wrong in front of someone.

6) Falling asleep in class and either doing the head bob, or waking up by majorly jumping.

7) Forgetting the teacher's name when you're saying the prayer in class.

8) Being on a horribly awkward date.

9) Wearing high-water pants.

10) Running out of ideas for your list on a blog post.

Many of these have happened to me recently. It's a good thing I have such a good sense of humor, and that I like to make other people laugh. :)

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Why is it that every single girl who wears Ugg boots walks exactly the same way?

I found myself walking in a rather deserted part of campus with a girl wearing Uggs right behind me. The only thing I could hear were her footsteps, and every single one of them ground at my brain like a belt sander on my eardrums.

Maybe it's because my mom always taught me never to drag my feet when I walk. Whenever there's snow on the ground, I look back at my footsteps to make sure that my footprints are just of my foot, and not of my foot plus a tail (like that of a comet) behind it. Uggs seem to be the main culprit of this heinous offense. I'm pretty sure that most female Ugg-wearers spend more time with their foot connected to the ground than off of it when they're taking a step. It's the dragging sound that really gets to me.

Writing about it simply doesn't do it justice. You can only understand if you've actually heard it. If you go to BYU, you've certainly heard it. Even though Uggs went out of the main style scene (at least to my knowledge) a long time ago, they seem to be a staple of all of those Belmont dwelling, Mercedes Benz driving, half a pea for dinner eating, $350 jeans wearing, perfume overwhelming, plastic looking girls we're all too familiar with. I'm fairly certain I've never been affiliated with those girls, nor do I see it happening in the future.

Another thing that I've noticed about Uggs is that they make it very apparent that the wearer either walks on the extreme outsides or the insides of her feet. After time, the sides of the boot just start to wear down...well, see for yourself:

Why, world, why?

We must band together, and stop this insanity.

Secret #14

Wearing pants that actually fit me is still an anomaly. I have two pairs now that fit me, and every time I get dressed in the morning, it's like I've never had pants that fit before in my life.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Secret #13

I'm really, really good at about things I have no idea about (say, for example, parental involvement in speech and language therapy. Not like I wrote a paper on it this week or anything).

But I am, apparently, completely incapable about anything I am remotely interested in or knowledgeable about (say, for example, the reintroduction of wolves in Yellowstone and the northern Rockies and the repercussions that it has on that ecosystem. Not like I just finished writing a paper on it that was due at midnight yesterday and it is currently 2am the day *after* the paper was due).

Just saying.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Secret #12

I've had writer's block lately, but in a weird way.

I've got plenty of things to write about, I just can't for the life of me write it in a way that I think is good enough to let even one person read, let alone the entire WWW (World Wide Web). Last night I wrote a post and it took me about a half hour (typical for me. I usually reread and edit about 4 or 5 times). I went back and read it...garbage! The same thing has happened for the past week or so. I write an entire blog post, and then go back and read it, only to cast it aside in dismay.

I'm really hoping this crappy writing spree ends this weekend, before I have to turn in two papers next week. Either that, or I'll spend all weekend writing and rewriting til I finally get it right.

Actually, now that I think about it, I'd probably do that either way.

Secret #11

I haven't worn makeup for probably 2 weeks (excluding Sundays and my dance competition this week).

I've actually really enjoyed it.

Friday, January 29, 2010

Secret #10

I think if you have Facebook, you stalk people. It's just a fact of life.

Sometimes...I stalk myself.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Advice on Torturing

I love giving talks in church. I really, really do.

But would you like to know how to torture me?

Give me a topic (say, the importance of family) that is nearly impossible to relate to single, 20's college students, and ask me to give a talk on it.

I can't speak about something I'm not passionate about. I just can't. And it's not that I'm not passionate about my family, because I am.

But it seems that all the stuff in the scriptures, on, and in every General Conference talk and lesson book that I can get my hands on is about getting married (something I refuse to talk about), raising a family (something that no one in my ward is doing, minus the members of the bishopric), and spending time with family (something nearly impossible for most of us to do, seeing as we're at college and not anywhere near our families). It seems so unnecessary to lecture anyone in my ward about getting married--we get that enough at BYU, and definitely to talk to them about raising children, because none of us have children!

I've spent hours upon hours on this talk. It's not getting anywhere.

Wish me luck tomorrow.

Thursday, January 21, 2010


A line from one of my favorite songs recently is:

"Covered with scars I did nothing to earn.
Maybe somewhere there's a lesson to learn.

I think there's so much, just in that.

I've always loved having scars. I have one on my wrist that I'm particularly fond of, and one on my knee as well. They've all got stories behind them. I have one on my finger from when a friend sliced me with a razor blade while we were scraping paint off a board in high school. I have one just next to my eye where my dog bit me when I was little. I have one just under my eyebrow that helps me to know where my brow line goes when I pluck my eyebrows. The list goes on.

However, I think at some point in our lives, we all feel that we have scars we did nothing to earn. Sometimes, bad things just happen to good people. It's one of life's great mysteries.

I've blogged about this many times. You've read them before. It's nothing new. Find a way to be happy. Look for the good in things. Trust in the Lord. Have faith.

I'm not sure that I know of a new way to write it. Maybe later in the week I'll come across an experience that allows me to relate the idea somehow, and then I'll write about it.

But for now, I can't help but think of those scars. I never asked for them, but got them anyway. The problem with scars is, they never go away. Sure, they may fade a bit over time, but they're always with you. You can always see it, and sometimes you can even still feel it. And there's the irony.

I love being able to see and feel my physical scars. However, I could do without those others, but they seem to be the ones that we all feel and see the most. The trick is, finding a way to stop cutting the wound back open. All it does is make a deeper scar, in the end.

I hate sad blog posts. I hate whiney blog posts, and I hate blog posts that make me feel pathetic.

Looks like I hate this blog post.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

And the verdict is...

Well, I saw the specialist today. He didn't really tell me much I didn't already know...he showed me a model of a skull and how the jaw bone works, then took an x-ray of my jaw.

Your jaw bone/joint sits in a groove in your skull, and some people have a much narrower groove than others. I happen to be one of those people, so my jaw bone can slip out of the groove more easily than it does for some others.

The diagnosis is that I just need to rest and let my joint heal, so I still have to eat soft foods and not open my mouth wide. Along with this, I have to alternate ice and heat on my joint for 2 hours every day, and he gave me a prescription to help lessen the inflammation, which is what's causing most of my discomfort. After taking them this afternoon, my jaw felt a lot better, and much more natural than it has since the dislocation, which is definitely a good thing. It's still hard to chew, and I think it'll be a few weeks before I can see a dentist for my papers, but at least it's not months. So now I just have to be patient and careful.

Sunday, January 17, 2010


Well faithful readers (all three of you), I guess it's time for me to tell you what's going on.

On Thursday night, I dislocated my jaw. It happened while I was yawning; don't fret yourself about you yawning and dislocating your jaw, though: I've had problems with my jaw for awhile now, and I've dislocated it before, but this time was worse than it had ever been. My entire jaw bone had popped out of both sockets, and I could feel that my jaw bones had moved into my upper cheeks. My roommate took me to the hospital, my mouth gaping wide open, and she didn't even make fun of me once, bless her heart.

We got to the Emergency Room, me with a towel over my mouth, and my roommate telling them what happened to me, seeing as I couldn't talk. We waited for about 20 minutes, they got me into a room, put me under, and relocated it while I was out. They had to put me under because my muscles were spasming so much, which is really the only thing that made the dislocation painful. When it first happened, it didn't hurt at all, and was more scary than anything, because I couldn't fix it like I'd been able to do before, but the longer it was stuck open, the more my muscles spasmed, and the more it hurt.

None of the doctors in the ER had ever seen anything like it. I had probably 3 or 4 doctors come in and feel my jaw, just because they had never seen it happen to anyone, and there were probably 5 or 6 nurses who just came in looking shocked.

So, my state as of this moment is that I'm not in much pain, just a bit of discomfort. I can open my mouth just wide enough to see about a finger's width of space between my teeth, and I can only eat soft foods, which has proved to be quite a challenge for me. I've craved steak, pizza, Costa Vida, burritos, Taco Bell, cookies, and the list goes on. Just about anything you can chew, I'd love to eat it but can't. I have an appointment with an Oral Maxillofacial surgeon on Tuesday, and he will be able to tell me more about the situation. From what little I know, however, my jaw will never be the same. The surgeon can give me some treatments that can help some, but now that I've dislocated it as bad as I have, I'm much more susceptible dislocating it again. In essence, I just have to be really careful what I do with my jaw for...the rest of my life.

I will post more again on Tuesday or Wednesday once I know more about the situation, but I thank all of you for your prayers and your help through all of this. It will more than likely delay my papers for a bit, which has been hard for me to deal with, but I will go when the Lord wants me to go. This was obviously something He wanted me to take care of before I left, and He knows best, so I'm just going to trust in Him and He will lead me through.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Secret #9

I own more articles of clothing that were made and intended for little boys than I do pairs of jeans that actually fit me, textbooks for this semester, or doctors who helped me in the emergency room tonight.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Secret #8

I was talking to a friend today about soul mates...

And how they don't exist.

What we ended up deciding is that who you end up with just comes down to luck, really.

And that's when I realized that that's why so many 18 year-old girls get married at BYU:

Beginner's luck.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Secret #7

Have you ever received (or seen) a text such as this?

"Its cool sou like ball thats cool soil b29 nov7th im waitin4a job2 open up@ the u of u fora cardiology tech soi quit my job awhile back when my sister n her hubby hada baby he had2 go back2 work right away soi helped her outa lot soi live with my parents i had2 move ini couldnt afford rent without workin while i took care of my sis n her baby she was not well@ having ethan soi had2b their alot but alls good now soim hanging out waiting4a job2 open up iluv2b active workout camping dancing im gonna start taking acting classes iluv2 watch tv movies funny movies spooky ones2 iluv boating i wanna geta 4 wheeler really bad iluv2 talk alot get2 know other people get2 gether witha buncha people ndo whatever just hangout tell me@u"

(This is an actual text, copied from a blog that I read. I will not attempt to translate it.)

Or, how about some of these "cookie cutter texts" I found on a website?

"D thief stole a calNdA . He got 12 Mths" (The thief stole a calendar. He got 12 months)

"yday I seen ur splitting img, he/she lOkd jst lk U!!!!" (Yesterday I seen (yes, seen) your spitting image, he/she looked just like you!!1superfluous exclamation points!!)

"wht doez a 6T year old mn wair boxrz or briefz ? depends" (This one is supposed to be a joke, apparently. It says: "What does a 60 year-old man wear, boxers or briefs? Depends." This one really gets me, and with one simple word: wair. WAIR.)

Or, perhaps you've seen something like this, on popular networking sites like Facebook, MySpace, or Twitter:

"GRUDGeS aRe a wasTe Of tRuE haPpInEsS (LAUGH) wHeN u CAN aND ApOlOgIzE wHeN u sHOuLd AND *****LET***** Go oF wHatEvER U CANT cHaNG3 LoVe DeePLy aNd fORgive aUiCKlY...take CHANCES..(GIvE) EVERYTHING..AND HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO *REgReTs* LifE is waY tO shOrT tO bE UNHAPPY..tAkE In The gOod wIth tHE baD anD (smil3) WheN uR saD lOVE wHat U geT aNd alWayS rEmeBeMBR wHat U had...U sHOuLD aLwaYS fORgive But NeVer fORgeT LeaRN fROm ur MIsTakES...pEOplE cHaNGe AND tHIngS gO wRonG bUt aLwaYS remeMbeR liFe GoeS on...sO lAUgh ouT loUd anD loVe wiTh aLL uR ♥ AnD NevEr TAke ANyTHinG for GranTeD."

I think that's enough. That one is also real, by the way, and it's only about a tenth of the entire paragraph/run-on sentence written by this girl. However, I had to copy it on here by hand; it only took me about 20 minutes. I think the girl who wrote it had her epileptic little brother press the shift key at random when she was typing. Speaking from experience, this is certainly NOT the most convenient, easy, or natural way to type. Why anyone would willingly choose to do it is so far beyond me, I have absolutely no hope to ever understand it.

Another of these fads that I don't understand is adding letters to words that don't change the way the word sounds. For example:

activeeee (active)
friendddd (friend)
crazzzzy (crazy)
gayyy (gay)

You notice that these letters are often at the ends of words. There are a lot of possibilities, but my brain hurts just coming up with those three words.

Along the same lines, people will add letters to the word that actually would change the way it sounds, but apparently those letters don't actually change the sound of the word:


Another trend I don't seem to understand is the shift from pluralizing a word with the letter 's' to doing it with a 'z'. When did this happen? More importantly, who decided it was okay?? (E.G. LOLZCATZ)

This next trend, I'll have to admit, I was once a part of. It's the "lol" trend. For those who read this blog and don't know what it means (aka my mom), 'lol' stands for 'laughing out loud', and is yet another texting/chatting lingo that should be banned. It's overused, and hardly ever used in a context where laughing out loud would actually be something happening in the situation. For example, a Facebook status from an unnamed friend of mine: "[Name] says: If anyone knows someone leavin back for provo after christmas let me know! I need a ride back to school!! Lol. :)" I hardly doubt this person would be laughing out loud if he/she couldn't find a ride back to school. It just doesn't fit with the context of the sentence or topic at all. I think 'lol' has become the 'like' or 'um' of the texting world. Don't know what to say? Can't think of something witty? No worries, you have an easy solution. Just respond with "Lol," it works every time.


And people wonder why their kids can't spell, write (like a normal human being), communicate, or graduate from high school.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Secret #6

I hate crowded places.

This isn't claustrophobia. Places like elevators don't bother me.

It's the crowd in and of itself that bothers me. This is the same reason I hate driving in Provo (or most places in general), pushing the cart in the grocery store, or just the grocery store all together. If there's an aisle I need to go down, but there are three or four (or more) people in said aisle, even if I am without a cart, I will skip the aisle and come back later.

A few days ago Sam and I went to the grocery store. I especially hate the grocery store during the first week of any semester, because the shelves are devoid of everything you need, and there are a million people there. I, against my own will, went into a row to get a bag of bagels. There were 5 people in this half-the-length-of-a-normal-row row. I got in there, grabbed the first bag of bagels I saw, and literally pushed people out of my way to get out of there. Sam tried to ask me something as this all happened; at least that's what she told me afterward. I have no recollection of it ever happening. I was too focused on getting in, getting out, and having to touch as few people as possible in the process.

The north hall of the JSB (at least, right after my New Testament class) is the absolute worst. It makes me feel like I'm in a German cattle car in the 1940s. I can't get out of there fast enough.

I really don't know what it is. I just hate crowds.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Secret #5

Sometimes, I forget to breathe.

That sounds like a cheesy line from a sappy chick flick.

But really, it is how it sounds. A lot of times when I dance, I'm concentrating, and realize after I finish that I'd been holding my breath for much of it. Today, I noticed on at least 3 occasions that I would say something to someone and at the end of the last word take a big gulp of air, and then, for some unknown reason, hold my breath.

It's not like I hold my breath so long that I'd pass out or anything. It's just weird to catch yourself not breathing.

Monday, January 4, 2010

The last 2 years

I've had my computer for 2 years now.

The main thing I do with my computer is listen to music; I'm the kind of person who always has music playing.

Today, I did a little math. I have listened to various songs 38,541 times (as of this very moment, although I'm currently listening to music, and that number is steadily increasing) in the last 2 years. And that doesn't count the hundreds, if not thousands of songs that I listened to most of but skipped the last 10 seconds, songs from my ipod, songs I listened to while practicing dance, and the probably hundreds (again, if not thousands) of songs I've listened to on YouTube and Pandora. So, we'll round up to 40,000, which is probably a great underestimation (as noted by my roommate, who experiences this music playing), but we'll go with it.

There are 730 days in 2 years. Do the math, and that's just under 55 songs a day. We'll say an average song is 3 and a half minutes long. If that assumption is correct, that means that on average, every one of my days in the past 2 years has included 3.208 hours of music in it. That's only 13% of my day. However, think about it:

We'll assume that I spend 7 hours sleeping. That's 29% of my day right there, in which music cannot be a part.

We'll also assume that I spend roughly 4 hours a day in classes, during which I can't listen to music. That's 17%.

All together, those equal 46%. Nearly half of my day is spent doing things where listening to music isn't an option.

I also just realized that I spend roughly 6 hours a week practicing dance, if not more. We'll add enough to make it 4.5 hours.

I work 20 hours a week, and I usually spend 90% of my time there listening to music. That adds 2.9 hours to the number.

7.4 hours spent listening to music out of 24 hours in a day is 31%, and 7.4 our of 13 (24 minus the hours spent sleeping and in class) is 57%.

Fifty-seven percent* of my available time is spent listening to music.

I do not have a problem with this.

*Not a definite number. May actually be more or less; my guess would be more.