Monday, September 1, 2008

A New Month, A New Chance

Ah, September. The beginning of a whole new season. What can I do with this season this year? I'd make a list of goals but I'm too lazy. be persistent? To be a good student? It seems I make the same goals every year but I always end up not doing my readings and getting average grades on tests.

However, I feel like maybe I've turned over a whole new leaf this semester. Megan is getting married, so I'll no longer have a roommate who I can cling to at church. I have to make friends in the ward. And I'm excited about that. I've also got a new job that I'm very excited about. Perhaps these changes in myself and my life can translate to everything else I do? I hope so. I want to be a good student. I want to get good grades.

I think most importantly, I want to find something that I love. I've really been hoping that this semester, I will find something that I want to major in, something that I want to do, something that I love. I feel like I have started everything new, not taking any classes that I would normally have taken (with the exception of my dance classes and religion classes). Perhaps I will find something that I love. What if I don't? Then what? I try another branch of study? And another? And another? I feel like I'm never going to find anything. However, I am trying to be optimistic and hopeful that I will find something (or someone, haha) to love this semester. I actually feel fairly confident that I will.

Once again, I love life. And I love that I love it. I suppose I am more or less making a list of goals, and another one of those goals is to truly love life, even when things aren't necessarily going exactly the way I want them to. My Heavenly Father has a plan for me and He knows what He's doing, although I may not always agree with what He chooses to put in my path. I have to remember that what He does, He does for my own growth and learning. It's difficult to have that kind of perspective, especially during hard times, but I am going to try.

Another goal is to find someone to serve. Whether it be through a church calling (although I do not know yet what it is, I have a feeling that it's going to be a Relief Society Teacher) or some other way, I would like to find some time to be more selfless. Speaking of church callings, I feel quite conflicted about the whole ordeal. I feel like I want a music calling (something like a pianist), but at the same time, I feel like it's my time to take some responsibility in the ward and do something that will require more of my time and effort. I am not going to have any time to myself this semester!

I kind of like that idea, though.

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