Monday, November 3, 2008

Committer

This is a blog I wrote a little bit ago, and I've been debating whether or not to post it. Well, today I just decided to do it, so here goes. Enjoy.


I make commitments. Others make them to me. But how do you know if your level of commitment is the same as the other person?

This seems to be my common problem lately. And by lately I mean for the past couple of years. I'm not really sure if it's a communication problem or just something that naturally occurs between people sometimes, but I've tried doing things differently many times, and none of the changes seem to work.

I suppose my real question in this is: how do you know? How do you determine? Asking usually provides little insight into the workings of someone else's mind, at least in my experience. Although he or she may answer truthfully, I find that this kind of thing is hard to express, even for those not verbally challenged like myself. In almost all situations where a commitment is required, it seems that one person commits his or her self more than the other.

For example, in a few weeks I will be competing in the DanceSport competition (for those who don't know, it's a ballroom competition). A guy in my class asked me to be his partner, and I accepted. Now, I'm not exactly sure what his desires are concerning the outcome of the competition, but personally, I want to do well. How do I go about asking him about his intentions? And what if he is in it merely for the experience? Can I convince him to work hard for me? Can I change his motivations, and his level of commitment? It doesn't seem like something that can be changed easily.

This example is just one situation that I've experienced within the past little while. I understand that each of these experiences is for my learning and growing, but at the same time....it would be nice to catch a break. I feel like I constantly live the same situation over and over (literally, the same situation, at least 5 times in the past year alone), and I have no control over it. Perhaps if I made myself emotionally detached from everyone else, that would help? I don't think that would work. I am an emotional person, and I wear that emotion on my sleeve, whether people like it or not. How can I avoid this situation? I feel like I am constantly putting my all into everything, but that "all" is not reciprocated. Ever. How do I change that?

1 comment:

Shawn and Cami and Max said...

You can't change it . . . . you just deal with it and move on. You can't make everyone happy, but you can at least ensure that you are happy or are on the way to it.