Tonight Kagan received a text from a random number, and I decided to have a conversation with this person. The following is a transcript of our conversation (almost exactly as it happened, grammar, spelling mistakes, and all):
Mandy: Hey its mandy cynthia gave me ur number
Mandy: cynthia said to txt you
Brooklyn: Um, I dont know why cynthia told you to text me, but we're not friends anymore
Mandy: u and cynthia
Brooklyn: yeah. She ate my last piece of shepherd's pie and that was it. straw that broke the camel's back.
Mandy: that's weird she sent me a pic that she drew that said i luv alex shes made at me for saying yes
Brooklyn: well that's her problem, not ours. i'm a little confused, tho. why did she want you to text me?
M:because she wanted me to ask u if u liked her
B: well i think it's a bit obvious how i feel, don't you?
M: ya it is she thinks you got dared to ask me out and my cousin wants to see a pic of you
B: do you think i got dared to ask you out? i cant send a pic my camera is broke. find me on facebook.
M: okay whats ur last name and idk if u were or not
B:i cant believe you said yes to go out with me and you dont even know my last name. ask cynthia. she knows.
M: well no i dont know just tell me
B (in an attempt to change the subject): my mom bought me a tarantula today and i think it just bit me. are tarantulas poisonous? I'm worried where it bit me might fall off
M: Ur a dork and i have no idea
B: no seriously. this is a pretty vital body part.
M: dont want to know and whats ur last name please tell me
B: muhahaha this is too fun. never telling. i'll tell you tomorrow when i see you. how about that?
M: Ur mean im on fb so just tell me please
B: you're on facebook all the time, not like it's anything new
M: How did u know that
B: you just give off that vibe. enough about me. tell me something about you that i dont know.
M: u ask ill answer
B: ok. do you think my muscles are big enough?
M: I dont havent seen um
B: it's not like i only every wear long-sleeved turtlenecks. i'm sure you've taken a little peek before at least once
M: nope when i met u u had a jacket on
B: speaking of jackets...do you ever feel trapped? I do. have you ever had a dream to do something other than what's expected of you? I just feel so trapped and want someone who will understand me...
M:(picture message of a completely black picture) Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Forward this message to 15 people and then look back at the picture. at first you will just see black, but if you forward this message, the photo will reveal the name of your true love. If u dont forward you will never know your true love. Try it it actually works unlike all of the other forwards like this. So if you want to know the love of your life just forward it to 15 people.
M: Nice and any other questions
B: those things actually work, you know. once i didnt forward one of those messages and it actually came true. I puked up a small rodent and it infected my entire elementary school with influenza. worst 4th grade ever.
B: ok. ever been married?
M: no thx ive dated alot of guys and made out and kissed but no married
B: why not? I knew a guy who had been married 3 times by the time he was your age. he was a polygamist though, so that could have had something to do with it. at least, i think he was your age. how old are you again?
B: wow you look a lot younger. when i asked you out i thought you were 11.
B: weird. so what do you do for fun?
B (after like 15 minutes of no response): was that a bad question? how about...would you rather live in the shirt pocket of a sweaty giant, or in his shower drain?
M: that wasnt a bad question i was showering i play football for fun and softball
B: what about the sweaty giant?
M: shirt pocket
B: and why is that?
M: i dont know sooooo any other questions
B: have you ever had someone text you thinking they were texting a guy they liked and then you played along just for fun?...
M: nope by the way u act like a third or fourth grader its really weird do you swear
B: I dont think you got it. I hate to break it to you mandy, but my name's not alex. it's brooklyn, and I'm a 23 year-old recent college grad. I've had a fun time talking to you, and good luck with cynthia and alex.
M: Haha real funny
If you ask me, this was a good use of my time tonight. What do you think? :)