[Couldn't Be Happier]

Inconsistent

2012-02-09T14:31:00.003-07:00

I feel bad that I hardly ever post anymore. Unfortunately, my life is slightly less-varied than it used to be. Rather than getting inspiration for posts from weird BYU students, my inspiration now comes from my slightly normal co-workers, my "office" (quotes because I don't know if I can really call it an office. It's where I do my work, but it's also a storage room for tables, t-shirts, and other odds and ends. Maybe it's a storofice. Yep, made that word up just now. I originally had storfice, but I like that it has the word orifice in it now.), and my husband. Those are pretty much the only things that I interact with on a daily basis. Working 40 hours a week in an office has its perks, but inspiration for blog posts is not included in those perks.

Lately I've been thinking of things to blog about but have been working and can't just drop everything to get on my blog and write whilst getting paid to do exactly not that. That would be dishonest, and while I enjoy the interspersed sarcastic fib, I don't generally indulge in stealing time and money from my company. Maybe I'll devote a pad of post-it's to blog ideas...

We'll see.

Confession

2012-02-03T08:57:00.003-07:00

Here's something I've been wanting to talk about but have been to embarrassed what the reactions will be of the people I tell (mainly my husband and my mother). I don't want people to know. So here I am, posting on the internet about it because...well, there's no people on the internet, right? Right?

Here goes: I'm not going to grad school. I didn't even turn in my application. The deadline was February 1st and the night before I remember thinking to myself, "Maybe I should finish it and turn it in even though I don't have a professor to work with." Then I justified not doing it by remembering that I already blew $70 on a GRE Subject test that I decided I didn't want to take, and I would just be blowing $50 on this application, because the odds of me getting accepted without having a professor who wants me to work with him is just about slim to none. Then I remembered that if I didn't apply then I would have wasted another $70 on the GRE that I took but that now will go toward nothing since I'm not going to grad school.

Needless to say, there has been a lot of justifying going on in my head, both for and against going to grad school. However, that's how it's been since I started considering the possibility that I would go, so I'm fairly used to it.

In the end, it came down to this: is this really something that I'm willing to put myself through? I have absolutely no desire to go to grad school. None. After talking to professors and some grad students, I've come to realize that grad school is already awful and miserable enough, you don't want to do it if you're not doing something that you're really passionate about. And honestly...I can't think of anything that I would be able to study at BYU that I am truly and honestly passionate about studying for 2+ years. It seems like the things I am interested in change so rapidly that I don't think I could commit to doing the same thing for that long. Right now, I would love nothing more than to study dogs. Yes, the domesticated canine that you have sitting on your lap or on the floor next to you as you read this (if that is the case I am incredibly jealous, by the way. I want a dog more than anything). It's strange, but I love dogs and want to learn all I can about them. I was so interested in behavioral ecology while in school, and it's something that I'm still interested in, but I don't have a particular animal that I want to study, which is what I would have done in grad school.

I feel like this is the right decision. Even if it's not, there's really nothing that I can do about it since the deadline has passed, but that is beside the point. I've been on the lookout for job opportunities, and have even applied and interviewed for a few. Until then, I have a good job that I like, working with people I love. That's good enough for me.

Done!

2011-12-13T16:22:00.004-07:00

Well, I'm done with college! I officially finished my last final at about 3:15, 45 minutes after starting it. I kinda lost steam at the end of this semester, along with any will to study. But I'm done, so it doesn't matter!

I wrote a really long and kind of depressing post the other night about graduating. I'll consider posting it. I hate complain-y blog posts, which is why I didn't post it after I wrote it, but I also like to be honest, which it very much is. Again...I'll think about it.

I don't really have anything to write about besides the fact that I finished college today. It's a big milestone! Now I need to think of something to do to celebrate slash some awesome thing to buy for myself now that I will lose 2 of my jobs at the end of December (they're on-campus jobs and so I won't be able to work at them once I'm not a student anymore) and will make substantially less than I am now. But I'm graduating so that's my reason for deserving something awesome. Any ideas? Trips to exotic places won't really be an option, although that would be cool. Maybe I'll buy some puffed Cheetos. That's a pretty good reward, right?

Anyway if you have any ideas you should comment on here and I will take them into consideration.

Yay for me!

Secret #27

2011-11-16T17:38:00.000-07:00

I hate it when people spell the word "Yeah" as "Yea" or "Yah." They just look wrong to me.

Secret #26

2011-09-24T10:33:00.002-06:00

When business or signs in general have "est. (year)" I always think the est means estimated. I don't think I figured out what it was until I was in college.

It always bothered me that some business didn't even know when it had started, and that they had to estimate it...

I'm alive!

2011-09-23T23:24:00.003-06:00

Yes, it's true. I'm not actually dead. Just incredibly busy.

You may think that with only taking 7 credits this semester, one of which is a dance class and two of which are working in a lab, I wouldn't actually be that busy. If you do, you're wrong.

You see, along with my 7 credits, I also have 3 jobs and am preparing to apply for grad school. My days usually go something like this:

Go to school
Go to my TA job
Go to lab
Go to receptionist job
Go back to TA job
Go home and do TA stuff and homework
Go to sleep
Lather, rinse, repeat.

It's been crazy. Along with that, last week I was preparing to take the GRE, and starting next week, I'll be preparing to take the Biology Subject GRE test in November, which will be much harder than the normal GRE was.

So, needless to say, I don't have a lot of time for blogging (or anything, for that matter). In fact, I'm currently avoiding studying for the test that I have to take tomorrow morning (I don't have any other time that I can take it) by downloading songs and writing this post.

Hopefully I make it through this semester and that I get into grad school. Either way, you'll probably hear from me more in about 3 months. :)

Don't player hate on me...

2011-06-21T15:35:00.004-06:00

Ok, is one of you messing with me? She posted again!

"Im looking for a pool so my kids can enjoy for the summer i have 5 kids!!
If you have a pool that is not ripped and that is in good conditions! please sell it to me!! it has to be $20 or less! because i can waste that much money! Please give me a call if you have a pool that you can sell to me please give me a call so i can go take a look at it!
Thanks please contact me if you can sell one to me!! for a cheap price!!!
It can be any size i just want a pool for my children to enjoy!!"

Double exclamation points now. And if possible, even worse grammar.

I don't not see the connection here. Fess up, whoever you are! (yes, I used one. On purpose.)

(link to actual post)

Remember?

2011-06-20T17:01:00.003-06:00

Remember that post I wrote a few days ago about how the exclamation point is WAAAAAAAAAAAY overused and how it's ruining the way people write and read?

Here's evidence that I found on Craigslist today:

"I need a pool for my kids i have 5 kids that really want a pool for the summer for the hot days they really want a swimming pool! but saddly i cant afford buying a brand new swimming pool!
If you have a swimming pool that you could sell to us for a very cheap price please email me!
Or if you have any kind of pool! that you could sell to us! because my children really want a pool! for the summer if you could help us that would be nice!
Thanks for looking!
please email me if you can sell us one or give to us!
Thanks!"

Find it here if you don't believe me. I just copied and pasted it.

This whole thing really makes me want to vomit on myself. It's not only the bad grammar and incomplete sentences that make it gag-inducing, but to throw an exclamation point at the end of every sentence and even in the middle of some...are you trying to kill me?

Couldn't Be Happier

2011-06-19T20:31:00.003-06:00

Sometimes I forget the title of my blog (see above). To be honest, sometimes it's not always the truth.

I learned a lesson this week. I've been without a job for about 2 months now I think. Well, this is kind of a lie. I do in fact have a job, but I only work about 5-8 hours a week there. And I really don't enjoy the work that I do, which makes it even more difficult to go in and log hours.

Kagan has a job (or 2) but it's still been really stressful on me (to say the least) not having a job and not really having an income. Not only has it been stressful, but also very frustrating, because I just don't know where to look for one anymore. To top it off, I'm tired of having jobs that I hate, so I've been kind of selective with what I want to do. I also would rather not get another job on campus, because I'll lose it in December when I graduate and be right back where I am now.

I've got a lot going against me, to say the least.

A few nights ago, I had I think the worst breakdown I've ever had. I didn't know what to do. Every option Kagan gave me, I had some kind of excuse for of why I couldn't do it (campus job: be unemployed again in December. Find a job on craigslist: that's what I've been trying to do for the last 2 months and I haven't even gotten one call about any of them. Try out substitute teaching: school is out for the summer. The list goes on and on). It felt (and still feels) completely hopeless. I still have absolutely no idea what to do.

However, after the breakdown, Heavenly Father decided he wanted me to know what's going on. No, that's an overstatement. Heavenly Father decided he was sick of hearing me complain. So he told me (multiple times, actually) to learn to be happy about this. Learn to be happy with the 5 hour a week job that I have. Learn to be happy sitting in my house mostly all day, every day, alone. Learn to be happy feeling like I'm not contributing anything.

I've set some goals, made a conscious effort, and I'm going into a new week. As Miss Stacey/Anne says, "Tomorrow is fresh, with no mistakes in it...yet." Wish me luck as I learn a lesson which will take me to a place that I probably hadn't anticipated.

Also I get to go home next weekend, and stay for nearly a week! I'm so excited! :)

The Exclamation Point

2011-06-17T01:25:00.000-06:00

It's a tricky thing. Well...to some people.

I've always been very conservative in my exclamation point usage. Why? Because the exclamation point should really only be used when you would actually exclaim something.

Read this article, and you'll understand how I feel about the exclamation point. He says it way better than I could, plus he's already said it, so why should I say it again? Read it. Appreciate it.

Have you read it? Please read it before you continue. It'll make much more sense if you do.

Yes, it is ruining the world. People use it far too often. Whenever I read it, the upward inflection happens in my head. It's extremely irritating.

I once considered dating a guy who lived a few cities away. As a result, we spent a fair amount of time texting. However, I decided I didn't want to date him after about a day of this texting business. Why, you may ask? It was solely because he ended every sentence in every one of his texts with an exclamation point (also he was slightly creepy, but maybe the exclamation points played a part in that). It was brain melting to me. Every added exclamation point was like a nail being driven deeper and deeper into my head, killing me more and more.

I guess the moral of the story is, please reduce the use of your exclamation points by only using them when necessary. Please!

Santa

2011-05-23T13:40:00.004-06:00

I don't have a lot of memories from my very young childhood. However, many of the ones that I have are very vivid.

I remember when I was about 5 or 6, I desperately wanted one of those little kitchen play sets that all my friends had (one of these). Christmas was coming, and I was sure I would get it. I wanted it so bad. *SO* bad!

Also, I had been a good girl, so I figured Santa would reward me for my good deeds and get me my heart's true desire (the kitchen thing).

Christmas morning came, and I clearly remember the pajamas that my grandmother had made for me. They were light blue, and I remember feeling like Princess Jasmine from Aladdin in them (which will come to be ironic later on). I went out to the living room, filled with presents, and there it was: a huge box, just the right size to fit a kitchen play set. And it was for me! I knew right away that all my dreams were about to come true.

I saved it for the very last. I wanted it to be the grand finale to everything that I had received. It finally came to that moment. I was elated, overjoyed, as I ripped the paper from the box, ripped the tape off the box, and opened it to find:

A blanket.

That's right. A huge Aladdin themed blanket.

Needless to say, I was crushed.

I've since recovered from the emotional trauma caused by this event. Whenever I tell this story around my mom, she says to me, "Well you should have asked for it. We never even knew you wanted it!"

I was thinking about this last night, and I came to a realization. There were two men in my life who I had never met, but were very important to me: Santa, and Heavenly Father. I'd learned all my life about my Heavenly Father. He lived in heaven, so I couldn't see him. He loved me. He wanted me to be happy. He knew everything that I did, even if no one saw it. He knew everything about me: my hopes, my dreams, my desires, etc.

Then there was Santa. All you really get told about Santa is that you never get to see him, that he knows whether you're bad or good (even if no one saw it), and he knows what you want for Christmas (although somehow I missed the "you have to ask him" part).

So you can see, that as a child, I could have easily paralleled the two in my head. It wasn't necessary to ask Santa for a present, because he already knew!*

So next time you don't know what to get your kids for Christmas, maybe ask them to write a letter to Santa asking for what they want. They might not realize that that's necessary.

*I know, I know, the Lord knows what we want but we still have to ask him for it, but think of this from a 6 year-old's perspective. It makes a lot more sense that way.

The Lesbian Story

2011-04-20T15:07:00.007-06:00

Look, I know this post is long, but it is SO worth it. I promise.

I've always found this particular experience of my life to be pretty funny, even when it was happening. I hope it changes your life forever, as it did mine.

Once upon a time, I used to go to girls camp with the Young Women's program at my church. Girls camp was always a joyous event, full of laughter and good memories and overall happiness. It happened to be my fifth year going, in which I was to be a YCL (Youth Camp Leader). It was my job to be over 5 or so girls in the 3rd year group. My job was to be their mentor of sorts, and to provide general friendship and a good example in my wise old age of 16. Two of my dear friends were in this group (a one Holly Hall and a Hailee Maus), so I deliberately chose them to be under my direction.

One of the requirements of being a YCL in this particular year was that the girls I was in charge of all slept in my tent. So, there was me, Holly, Hailee, and two other girls who I had never met. One was fairly pleasant, and the other...let's just say she didn't have the happiest disposition of the girls at camp. It was clear that she was at camp against her own free-will and volition, and was going to take her displeasure out on anyone who stood in the way of her being miserable (me being one of the main targets of this frustration, as I was supposed to make her go to activities, etc). For the purposes of this story, we shall call her DENver (yes, the capital letters do make a difference. It's DEN-ver).

I believe it was on our second night there, that another good friend of ours sneaked over from the 4th year camp to spend some quality time in our tent with us. The pleasant girl and DENver had (or so I thought) gone to sleep. At the very least, both of them had promptly put in headphones, laid down, and closed their eyes. Suffice it to say, I assumed them incapable of hearing our conversation. This was where my folly began.

There we were, the four of us, all trying to sleep on a queen-sized blow up mattress. I don't know how much you know about blow up mattresses, but when they claim that one of these is a "queen," it's really only about the size of a small full. So, as was necessary, we all laid on our sides, in what some would call a "spooning" position. We thought nothing of this, other than the fact that it was funny that we were spooning with one another on this tiny bed, and laughing all the while at the ridiculousness of it all. All of our fun was in complete innocence.

To make matters worse, we were all tired and, as a consequence, feeling rather silly. Caley (the sneaker-over) kept saying the word "spoon" in a very deep voice as she wrapped her arms around as many of us as she could and squeezed us together as hard as she could (which, if you know Caley, can be very hard indeed). Our foolishness continued, until Caley said to me, "Brooklyn, if we're not married by the time we're 40, will you be my lesbian friend?"

Let me pause to give you a brief interlude on my relationship with Caley. We were the best of friends, and comments like this were not uncommon between us. Mainly it was our way of saying that we would still be friends long into our lives, and probably that we would grow up being so silly that no man in his right mind would marry either of us, and we would end up being 2 old cat ladies living together.

Back to the story: I quickly responded with "Of course!" and the moment passed after some laughter from our friends. Soon enough, our discourse ended, and we all drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, as our morning activities ensued, DENver was her usual, grumpy self. She had another grumpy friend at camp, and they had banded together in their anger at being at camp against their will. DENver had asked to move into the tent with the other grumpy girl, which I assumed was because the tent was bigger (ours was rather small) and also just so they could mourn the loss that they wouldn't be able to make out with their boyfriends for an entire week while being held hostage at our horrible camp.

At breakfast, somehow the topic of our conversation in the tent the previous night came up. However, one of our leaders (basically just one of the adults over our camp) overheard, and asked us what in the world had gone on in our tent that night. We simply told her that Caley had sneaked over to our tent, and that much foolishness had ensued. However, it was at this point that I was made aware of the connection between our conversation the previous night and DENver asking to move to another tent.

Apparently, she had overheard the whole thing, and was now terrified of me because I was, clearly, a lesbian. Being 13 years old and having to share a tent with a 16 year-old lesbian can, I imagine, be rather terrifying. So much so, in fact, that you must remove yourself completely from the situation. I could understand why DENver had done this.

However, being a YCL, and therefore requiring myself to be an example to the younger girls I was over, I realized that I must rectify the situation and make it known to her (and I'm assuming all the girls in her new tent, who I was certain she had told) that I was not, in fact, a lesbian. I didn't want them avoiding me for the rest of the week like I was going to come after them in a lustful rage.

I thought I had timed my approach wisely. I was very wrong indeed.

When I walked into their tent to give my speech, most of them were changing their clothes and were, consequently, in their underwear. This did not help them to believe my story.

However, I did the best that I could to tell them that I had merely been joking around with the other girls in my tent, that we weren't lesbians, and that they didn't have to feel weird around us.

I don't think that it worked. They avoided me from there on out.

I didn't ever really care. I'd done my very best to tell them the truth, and I knew that their bad attitudes were probably the main inhibitor of my truth-telling. I was only fearful that they would tell all the other girls in our year, and then they would all avoid me.

This story ends well. DENver and her unhappy friend were both sent home from camp the next day for bad behavior. Their wish was granted, my reputation was saved, and camp in general was much happier from that moment on.

I will never forget, however, my brief period of being a supposed lesbian. Also, I never hesitate to share this story when on a camping trip, and in fact did so recently. I thought I was only sharing it with my tent mate, but apparently shared with every tent within the vicinity/hearing range of my tent.

All is well, and I have shared one of the happiest memories I have with you. I hope it brought you as much joy as it did for me to live it, as well as to write it.

Goodnight, all. And, if we're both not married by the time we're 40, will you be my lesbian friend?

So Close

2011-04-20T15:07:00.004-06:00

I'm really excited for tomorrow. Not only because I'll be done with school (very shortly, classes start again on Wednesday), but because I have about 3 blog posts that I've been waiting to write when I have more time, which I will after tomorrow!

Be prepared.

School is hard

2011-04-18T22:06:00.003-06:00

I'm having a really hard time focusing on the paper that I'm reading about the body weights of migrating and non-migrating eared grebes.

Sounds riveting, I know.

Finals week is hard. And I only have 1 real final (I have one test to take and one paper to write).

Just think, though...this is the second-to-last finals week that I'll have to go through in my undergraduate career (although it will probably be in my entire schooling career, as grad school is highly unlikely in my life).

Also, by the end of tomorrow, I will be done with my hellish birds class and then I will be forever tortured by my ability to identify 200 some-odd bird species just by sight. At least I won't be tested on it.

Ah....blast. This WON'T be the second-to-last finals week I will have. I forgot that I'm taking spring classes, which makes this my third-to-last finals week.

I was so close.

This post has no purpose.

School is almost over!!

P.S. I promise that once school is over for this semester that I will write real posts again. I have a good story coming up for you!!

Stewardship

2011-04-13T00:40:00.002-06:00

I'm writing a paper for my husbandry class that is ridiculous and impossible to write. I'm supposed to write 5 pages on how what I've learned will help with my stewardship responsibility for God's animal creatures.

So far, I've missed 10 points in the entire class. If I didn't do the paper at all, I could still get a B in the class. However, it's a really easy class and I'll be disappointed in myself if I don't get an A.

If I get a 70 on this paper, I can still get a solid A in this class. I figured if I wrote 4 out of the 5 pages I could get a 70 or higher and be fine.

I'm at 4.15 pages and should be done.

Somehow, I can't bring myself to be so blatantly mediocre.

What's wrong with me?

Birds

2011-03-30T23:51:00.003-06:00

It better rain harder tomorrow than it's ever rained in Provo, because I swear if I see a single bird, I'm going to kill it.

Birds are ruining my life.

P.S. Becky, be glad you didn't heed my pleadings and take this class with me. It may be the end of me.

Secret #25

2011-03-25T00:28:00.001-06:00

I think that one of the best parts about being married is that you can say "I love you" as many times as you want and as often as you want, and you don't feel like a weirdo for doing it.

Not only that, but they have to say it back! :)

Secret #24

2011-03-03T00:04:00.002-07:00

The thing I want more than anything in the world right now is....

A dog.

So bad. But we can't get one (for a lot of reasons, including that our apartment contract won't let us and that we're never home). I'm just biding my time...and I'll get me a little Daschund. And then Kagan will want to get his husky, and then the dogs just won't stop.

I have no problems with that.

Secret #23

2011-03-02T15:06:00.003-07:00

I really hope I don't have fat kids.

I don't know why, but chubby babies aren't as cute to me as less chubby babies.

Personal opinion. With my luck though (a husband who was born at 11 pounds), my kids will be little fat factories. I will love them anyway, though.

Remember...

2011-02-22T17:44:00.007-07:00

I remember the day when I realized what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I haven't regretted that decision once since that day.

Lucky for you, I blogged about that decision, and you can read about it here.

It's strange, the things that influence us. All it took for me was a picture. A few measly pictures of a baby giraffe that had to be hand-fed. I remember looking at those pictures and wishing more than anything that I could have been that man, being able to interact with that animal in such an intimate way.

The other day Kagan and I were talking (actually we've had this conversation a few times, but this was the time I really realized how I felt about it), and we were discussing the preferences of children. For example, my nephew, Max, *loves* trains, tractors, trucks--just about anything with a motor. Kagan asked me why I think it is that he loves those things. I thought about it, and I couldn't really tell. Perhaps it was because my sister and her husband, knowing that he was a boy, figured that he would probably like those things, and introduced him to them early in life. However, here's another example that kind of debunks that theory: Kagan's brother has two daughters. One is 4 and the other is 2. The 4 year-old loves princesses, the color pink, mostly anything girly. Also dogs and horses (judging by the fact that 85% of the time, she's pretending to be one of the two of those). The 2 year-old, however, loves barns and babies (like baby dolls). Somewhat similar to the older child, but in some ways, very different. What is it that makes the younger child not like the same things as her sister? Why did she choose barns? If we had followed my previous theory, then you could assume that she would have been influenced greatly by the presence of princesses and girly things brought into her life by her older sister. Yet she seems to show no interest in them (granted, she's 2, and she may learn to like them when she's older, but still).

And it was then that I realized: why is it that I love animals? Why is it that I've loved animals since the first time I ever saw one? I didn't live on a farm until I was about 11, and the extent of my pets growing up before that was limited to dogs, hamsters, fish, and a few reptiles that either lived in the backyard or were temporarily captured from the backyard. But I can clearly remember starting school, and only wanting to read the books about animals, getting so excited about learning about animals (I even remember that we learned about animal diversity in the 6th grade), etc. It's because we each are blessed to have a unique spirit (I guess technically our unique spirits are blessed with a body, but that's beside the point), which is different from any other spirit that ever has or will be. Why is it that Kagan likes film so much? Is it because only ever watched TV as a child? Surely the answer is no; it's because he has certain talents and desires given to him by our Heavenly Father, and film is what fulfills those to the greatest extent.

And animals happen to be where that passion lies in me. I recently applied for an internship at Hogle Zoo for this summer, and I'm really hoping that I'll get it. Sadly, because Kagan works here, I can't really go anywhere else to do an internship at a zoo, unless I decide that I want to live X miles away from my husband for 4 months (not likely). So, keep your fingers crossed. I don't even really know what the odds are that I'll get it, so I'm kinda in the dark until I find out.

If you need more evidence of my love for animals, visit my "Happiness Blog" here. It started out of pictures (and quotes) that made me happy or made me laugh, and now it's almost completely pictures of animals (ok, and Harry Potter references, but I can't help that Harry Potter is the most amazing thing since...animals). I love it. :)

Browser

2011-01-28T11:20:00.002-07:00

Dear Readers,

I'm posting today on a matter of grave importance. I beg you to give heed to my words. I speak from experience.

Blogger.com (and generally, Google) has recently come out with a new feature for your blogs where you can view all kinds of stats about your readers, who views your blog, what site they came from, where they're from, etc. While I was surprised by my 36 views from the Netherlands this week, I was more surprised by an extremely heinous statistic.

Nearly half of the people who view my blog do so using Internet Explorer.

World...this must stop. Internet Explorer can be equated to sadism, communism, and other things that are inherently undesirable and generally bad in nature.

I implore, nay, beg you to choose a different browser. It's not difficult. I know it seems like there are a lot of options, but I'm here to give you a glimpse into at least my favorite browsers.

Personally, I almost always use Firefox. It's fast, works well, hardly ever crashes, and I've never had a website that didn't work on it. The only time I don't use Firefox is when I'm using my iPad, where Safari is the only option for a browser. Another plus of Firefox-it updates for you, unlike IE that will leave you in the stone age and completely unaware that they've even changed anything.

Google Chrome is another popular browser. I don't have extensive experience with it (in fact, I have very little to none), but I do know that there are a lot of people who like it a lot. This is another option.

I suppose I won't be able to convince everyone to stop using IE. If you're going to use it, at least update it. I promise, it will make your life better, and easier (besides the fact that you're still using Internet Explorer). It's difficult for me to make hyperlinks while on my iPad, so I'll add links in here once I can get on a real computer. If you need help downloading browsers or updates, come back to this post a little later and there will be links that will help you.

I hope I've at least changed one person's mind. If so, that's enough for me. You won't be sorry you made the switch.

Choice

2011-01-10T23:19:00.004-07:00

I like to think that I'm a pretty laid-back person, at least in general.

There are, however, certain topics that just get me all fired up. These include but are not limited to: visiting teaching in single's wards, PETA, Creationism, and abortion.

I know I don't usually post stuff like this, but it's been something that's been on my mind lately. But first, a little background as to why.

A couple weekends ago, I was at Planned Parenthood to get my birth control prescription. After having watched Juno and being at least slightly informed as to this kind of thing and what Planned Parenthood is, I wondered how many people come to the Planned Parenthood clinic in Provo/Orem, UT for an abortion (just FYI, the Provo/Orem clinic doesn't actually perform abortions, but can give abortion referrals), simply because of the area we're in and the...general discouragement of abortions (based at least somewhat on the majority of Mormonism here).

About me: I am EXTREMELY pro-life. Women do have a choice--use protection, or don't have sex. You know the risks that come with it. Take responsibility for your choices (I know there are certain exceptions, like rape. I'm talking generally. Don't bog me down with the exceptions--that's not the point).

Please don't get me started. This post is supposed to be rational, and not me getting angry. Anyway.

So when I was there, there were probably 2 other girls who were there, one about my age and another who was probably either just out of high school or just starting college. They didn't seem too stressed, so I guessed that they were probably there for the same reason as I was. During the last 5 minutes of my sit in the lobby, a young couple came in. When I say young, I mean that they were under 17, and definitely not out of high school. The boy walked determinedly, and the girl seemed rather lost, scared, and unsure about what was going to happen in that building. He led her to the desk and said, rather loudly (or at least loud enough that I could hear), "We're thinking about getting an abortion." And that was that. I watched them as they sat down together and he helped/made her fill out the information sheet.

I never found out what happened with this couple. I left as they were filling out the form. As I walked past them to the door to leave, the girl was staring at the wall, with a look that I could only determine as fear, mingled with confusion and trepidation. I got into my car, but I couldn't drive away. All I could think about was that boy. That young, hormone-driven boy (I know it sounds like I'm making a vast generalization; I'm not). I could tell by the small amount of observations that I had made that they were dating, or at least had been at some point. He'd gotten her pregnant. She didn't know how to tell him, but eventually she did. She was terrified, because she probably knew just what he was going to say. There was no way he was going to pay for the consequences of his actions and become a father at the age of 17. He was making her have an abortion. As far as he was concerned, she had no choice. And as far as she was concerned, there was no way she was going to stand up to him.

I don't know that there's really a point to this post. I'm sure some people will read this and disagree with my feelings toward abortion. That's fine. I understand that there are differences in opinion, and I respect the right of other people to have different opinions than I do.*

However, I will never be able to understand how people can justify killing another human being because they made a mistake. I've studied a lot about abortions because I feel so strongly about it. I will never understand how a doctor could possibly do that to someone. Fetuses may not look like full-grown babies (is there such a thing?), but they still look like a person (I guess not right at the beginning, but in most operative abortions, the fetus will be developed that much), and watching a tiny, helpless person suffocate to death and feeling no remorse in being the reason for that happening...I will never understand.

Again, I don't know that there's a purpose in this post other than to share my experience, how I felt about it, and hope that maybe it makes you think about how exactly *you* feel about it. I can tell you that there are some pretty informative YouTube videos about abortion (for both sides), if you're interested in learning more.

*If you read this and completely disagree with what I say, you can comment on the post and inform me of your opinion, but just know that I probably won't reply back. I'm not writing this to start a debate, but rather to share an experience and my feelings towards it.

Secret #22

2010-12-03T11:51:00.003-07:00

I always feel really weird looking up people on Facebook while I'm on campus.

I'm always worried that the person that I look up will end up being the person sitting next to me, and then they'll look at me and be like, "That girl is a total creep!"

Doing it again

2010-12-02T14:20:00.001-07:00

I love the word rediculous.

Because essentially it means, "You're doing the diculous again."

November 26

2010-11-26T23:41:00.003-07:00

Today, I'm thankful for:

Family. Especially my uber cute nieces and nephews. :)

Kagan: for everything that he is. There's not one thing about him that I'm not thankful for.

Funny websites.

November 25

2010-11-25T23:37:00.001-07:00

Today, I'm thankful for:

Thanksgiving!!

That I have so much to be grateful for.

That I feel no shame in having a Christmas tree up now, and will be putting up the rest of my Christmas decorations soon!

November 24

2010-11-24T23:51:00.002-07:00

Today, I'm grateful for:

New canisters in my kitchen for storage. Yay for having a real kitchen!

For our awesome Christmas tree (we do have it up, but only because we don't have room for it anywhere else. It has lights on it, but I refuse to turn them on until after tomorrow's Thanksgiving festivities).

That I found out how to fix my fish tank filter and that our fish are happy and clean again.

Empty Country Time Lemonade jars.

November 23

2010-11-23T23:50:00.001-07:00

Today, I'm thankful for:

The fact that I am safe (even though there was nothing to worry about with the "blizzard").

For a husband who just lets me cry.

Puzzles.

November 22

2010-11-22T23:55:00.000-07:00

Today, I'm thankful for:

Photoshop.

Tortellinis.

weather.com

2010-11-22T12:07:00.001-07:00

"We need to be more grateful. It's one of the marks of strong character, to have a feeling of thanksgiving and gratitude for blessings that are ours. We need more of that spirit in our homes, in our daily associations, in church, everywhere. It's so easy to cultivate the spirit of appreciation."

-Ezra Taft Benson

November 21

2010-11-21T23:50:00.002-07:00

Today, I'm thankful for:

Snow, but not the snow we had today. Not the wind blowing, nearly hail kind of snow. I like the nice snow that falls peacefully and makes you think of Santa.

That I was able to finish preparing for a test sooner than I expected.

Pianos that are in tune. Also, metronomes.

November 20

2010-11-20T00:00:00.000-07:00

Today, I'm thankful for:

My husband! All 24 years of him (which we celebrated today!). He is wonderful and inspiring and makes me happier than any description.

Getting home, and taking your shoes off at the end of the day.

Electric razors.

November 19

2010-11-19T23:50:00.000-07:00

Today, I'm thankful for:

Power outages.

Easy-ish tests. Especially when they only take you 45 minutes and you planned for over an hour.

A clean house and a husband who is more than willing to clean it with me.

November 18

2010-11-18T23:43:00.002-07:00

Today, I'm thankful for:

The fact that my husband and I walk in sync. I heard once on the radio (courtesy of John Tesh's Tips for a Better Life) that couples who are happy walk in sync. It's always something I've thought about, and I notice it every time we walk together. :)

That I will soon be done with all these bloody tests and then I get to go home.

Little Debbie's snacks.

Growing up

2010-11-18T17:15:00.002-07:00

I really, truly, sincerely hope that I don't turn into one of those moms who loses all senses of grammar and spelling once I start having kids.

November 17

2010-11-17T22:04:00.001-07:00

Today, I'm thankful for:

Easy finals. They come so rarely, but it's such a happy day when they do.

People who take their own food into fast food restaurants to eat.

The new layout of my blog (also if anyone knows how to make my image on the top be centered...your help would be greatly appreciated).

November 16

2010-11-16T23:50:00.002-07:00

Today, I'm thankful for:

Wedding pictures!! (see them all here)

Warm clothes.

Not studying and watching YouTube videos with friends instead.

Normal post?

2010-11-16T10:23:00.003-07:00

I love people who type really hard.

I'm sitting in the Wilk (supposed to be studying, as is normal this week, but I'm not, as is normal this week) on my computer, and there's a guy next to me on his computer. He's writing a paper. Also, I think they've reinforced his keys with steel guards underneath. Because, if they haven't, I'm sure his hard drive is suffering some major blunt force trauma.

I think it's really important, even if you're part of a large, successful company, for people to look over the images and ads you send out to the public.

For example, Kagan and I were driving the other day and I saw a sign that left me feeling used and stereotyped. It was a billboard, made by a housing company, and the point of the ad was to get people to want to buy houses in their subdivisions. The text of the ad said, "We're like, everywhere, and stuff. Whatever." I think the purpose of the ad was to tell the consumer, "Hey, you should buy our houses, because anywhere you want to live, we're there! We have awesome houses! We can relate to the younger generation! BUY OUR HOUSES PLEASE." But instead, it said, "Hey, you up coming generation of lazy texters and disrespecters, we can be just as disrespectful as you. We'll insult your intelligence by assuming that all of you are apathetic bums. You don't even know what buying a house entails, and that's why we're going to rip you off, and you won't even see it coming. Oh yeah, and buy our houses. We guess." I don't know about you other "Generation Y's/Millennials" out there, but I found this extremely offensive.

I think what bugs me about it more than anything is that a company that sells HOUSES (especially in Utah) targets the 'young family' audience--people recently married, maybe with 1 or 2 kids, looking to buy their first house and settle down. Generally, those people are at least fairly responsible adults. They're not looking to be targeted into the apathetic teenager category anymore. And this ad does just that--demotes those people back down to the apathetic teenager category. I don't know about the (probably) hundreds of thousands of people who see that ad, but it made me not want to ever buy a house from that company. Just based on that one billboard.

Ok. I'm done with that example. Lets try another one. Check out this picture:

The description for this shirt is "V-neck tee with gathering detail at neckline and shoulder seam."

I'm not going to tell you what company I saw this at because I do like this company's clothing in general, but seriously? Based on your picture, there is NO WAY the consumer would have been able to tell that there was gathering detail at the neckline and the shoulder seam. If you look really closely at the right side, you can see some of the said gathering on the sleeve. I just wish they'd had someone look at that picture and say, "So, you've got a girl in a white shirt with a white background. Not the best option for showing people the detail on your clothing." That's all it would have taken. But instead, I have no idea what the front of the shirt actually looks like.

I'm sure that you're probably thinking that maybe they only sell that shirt in white, or that maybe they only had a white background, etc. Even if they did only have a white background for her to stand in front of (which isn't true, most of their pictures don't have a white background), this shirt came in 6 different colors.

Sometimes this stuff makes me think I should pursue a career in advertising. But then I realize that I'm only good at finding the ads that are sucky, and not good at thinking up good ads. Oh well. Back to zookeeping for me.

November 15

2010-11-15T23:37:00.001-07:00

Today, I'm thankful for:

Hymns.

Facial expressions.

Sleeping in.

Photoshop class (and the weird people there).

November 14

2010-11-14T19:32:00.002-07:00

Today, I'm thankful for:

An easy calling, and one that I can do with my husband.

Rain.

That I don't have to take the bus to get places (yet...).

November 13

2010-11-13T19:31:00.001-07:00

Today, I'm thankful for:

Tucanos. Yum...

Kagan getting a new razor so he can shave again.

A clean house.

November 12

2010-11-12T14:39:00.004-07:00

Today, I'm thankful for:

The fact that Becky appreciates my every day blog posts. :)

That I have a good job(s).

Paints and paintbrushes.

Bamboo.

November 11

2010-11-11T14:10:00.004-07:00

Today, I'm thankful for:

Goldfish (the wholesome snack that smiles back until you bite their heads off).

Holiday decorations that are appropriate for the most current holiday (like Thanksgiving decorations rather than Christmas decorations).

Perforation.

Sleep talking.

November 10

2010-11-10T22:47:00.001-07:00

Today, I', thankful for:

Words.

Conservation Biology (not the class, but the action).

Documentaries.

Finishing classes before the semester ends.

November 9

2010-11-09T23:46:00.002-07:00

Today, I'm thankful for:

Bad days, but only because they make the good days so much better.

Candy corn.

Smash burger.

The extremely enthusiastic guy who works at FedEx, because he always makes it so much more enjoyable to go there.

That my goldfish know how to beg for food in a way that they know will make me feed them.

November 8

2010-11-08T17:57:00.003-07:00

Today, I'm thankful for:

Internet (but not so much the fact that my life can fall apart without it).

That I had such great pictures taken of my wedding.

Costa Vida leftovers. YUM!!!

Viral Video Film School

America's Next Top Model.

November 7

2010-11-07T22:53:00.003-07:00

Today, I'm thankful for:

People who know how to use grammar.

That I'm not pregnant, and that some people are.

My husband, who can cook wonderfully (and much better than I can).

Cross stitching!

November 6

2010-11-06T12:07:00.002-06:00

Today, I'm thankful for:

4 laundry baskets full of clean clothes.

Puzzles!

Family :)

November 5

2010-11-05T23:56:00.002-06:00

Today, I'm grateful for:

Going out to Costa Vida for dinner.

When work goes fast.

Typos that make funny words when you don't mean them to.

Crunchy leaves to step on.

November 4

2010-11-04T23:12:00.006-06:00

Today, I'm grateful for:

No homework Thursday!!

Having just enough lemon juice for fish tacos.

Having just enough flour for cookies.

Finding out what betta fish look like when they fight.

This sentence, taken directly from a textbook about mating betta fish: "At this point the female must make a hasty retreat or risk severe harassment from the randy male." Basically, the fact that my textbook used the word randy.

This blog, shared by my one and only.

November 3

2010-11-03T23:06:00.001-06:00

Today, I'm grateful for:

My wonderful husband. I never could have dreamed of marrying anyone better.

That we get to go to Coeur d'Alene for Thanksgiving!! I get to see most of my immediate family! Also, Kagan will get to see the lighting of the trees and Coeur d'Alene when it's got all the Christmas lights and everything...so excited.

Candy corn.

Thanksgiving decorations.

November 2

2010-11-02T16:17:00.002-06:00

Today, I'm grateful for:

Not having any more tests this week.

Clean underwear (and a washing machine that provides it).

That my hand still has feeling after about 8 full pages of writing for my Con Bio test.

November 1

2010-11-01T20:07:00.003-06:00

Today, I'm grateful for:

Spare tires, which bring my husband home safely.

Being able to borrow a calculator from work for a test, and then doing the math in my head during the test.

Class being canceled.

Billy Joel. Enough said.

Reality check

2010-10-05T00:55:00.004-06:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about my wedding. I look at other people's weddings and think how great they looked, or what they did that was so fantastic, what I could have or should have or wish that I had done or had for my wedding.

But as I thought about it today, I came to a realization. My wedding was better than any of theirs, even if they had a horse drawn carriage to ride in, hundreds of friends at their reception, or a chocolate fountain, or so many other things. When I look back on my wedding, it may no have been perfect. But I have something that none of them have. I get to be married to the person who makes me happier than I could have ever dreamed I'd be, the man who teaches me so much about myself and loves me so much in spite of my numerous shortcomings.

So when I look at a picture of someone's wedding and think, "Wow, her dress fits her so much better than mine did" or, "Her hair looks so pretty, I wish I'd done my hair that way (or just differently)" or, "She's so lucky, she had so many of her girlfriends who were able to be her bridesmaids," I realize that in the end, none of it matters. I had my best friends right there with me, few though they may have been. But I got to marry my best friend, and I get to spend forever with him. And no one can take that away from me.

October

2010-10-01T11:41:00.002-06:00

Yay for October! The month of (hopefully) cooling temperatures (we've been in the 80's during the day here in Utah for most of the week), meaning that I can start wearing fall clothes and not sweat to death when I ride my bike to school each morning.

So, I haven't blogged for awhile. It's not because I haven't wanted to, either. I just...haven't had anything to blog about. I'm in school, working, and...well, that's just about all I do. Any of my free time is either spent doing homework or avoiding homework and spending time with my wonderful husband instead. Overall, my life is fairly uneventful. I guess that's what getting married does to you.

I realized last night that as of today, I have been married for two whole months. We've made it so far, I know. When I told Kagan that last night, he couldn't hardly believe it. It's funny how 2 months when you're engaged feels like an eternity, and 2 months when you're married just flies by.

I really don't have much to write about. I'll end with a plug for my other blog. Visit it here! I don't know when the last time you looked at it was, but there's some pretty funny stuff on there. Also some very happy things, as the name of the blog implies. Take a look!

Secret #21

2010-09-03T15:38:00.002-06:00

I'm fairly certain that the drinking fountains on campus are conspiring against me. More to come on that...if I feel like it.

Double meaning

2010-09-03T14:22:00.002-06:00

This morning as I was opening my office, which happens to be on the 7th floor of a rather tall building on campus, I looked out over the Utah valley. It was fairly early, so the sun was still rising over the valley. I realized that in most places, since the sun rises in the east, the sunlight spreads from east to west, correct? Well, because of the mountain range directly west of where we are, the sunlight actually ends up spreading from west to east.

What a backward place Utah valley is.

Secret #20

2010-08-24T08:14:00.002-06:00

Now that I'm married, I attend a student married ward. Most people in the ward don't have kids, but a few do. Most of those kids are small babies, so the only distractions they provide are their cries (usually quelled quickly with a bottle) and their cuteness. However, there are a few couples with kids, probably 2 or 3 years of age.

Fact: I have a really hard time not judging people who let their children run wild during sacrament meeting.

Pictures!

2010-07-20T09:26:00.004-06:00

Yep, I'm posting to show you more pictures! But we're pretty good-looking, so you can't complain, can you?

Here's the link to our pictures.

Our photographer, once again, is amazing. Those sunset shots are real. I can attest that the sunset actually looked that way. She didn't increase the saturation or anything.

We did this shoot on the 4th (well, actually the 3rd, but the 4th was on a Sunday, meaning most everyone in Utah celebrated it on the 3rd) of July, which is how we got the big fireworks in the background. It was a super fun shoot, and it was so worth it to give up my 4th for that!

P.S. I'm getting married in 11 days. I cannot wait!

Secret #19

2010-06-10T22:12:00.002-06:00

Engagement makes me not have time to do anything. Especially post on my blog.

On that note, our engagement pictures are online. Take a look. Our photographer is fantastic.

I have this problem...I don't like talking to strangers (stranger danger, anyone?).

Example: whenever I get a phone call from a number I don't know, I don't answer it. I just don't like talking to strangers.

Another example: when I am at home (which is rare), there's really only one person who visits me (I'll give you 3 guesses who, and the first 2 don't count). So, if I'm the only one home and someone comes to the door, I never answer it. My bedroom window looks out over the front door, so I usually just peek out that to see if I know who it is (which is hard to decipher, since I can usually only see the top of their head or their elbows and the backs of their legs). I hardly ever do, so I just ignore it, telling myself that if anyone asks, I was in the shower or my music was up loud. I just don't like talking to strangers.

Maybe this has happened because I'm sick of people coming to my door or calling me, wanting me to buy a newspaper subscription or a $50 bottle of cleaner or a starving student card that I absolutely do not need or want. Maybe strangers should go door to door wanting to tell you that you look nice that day, or wanting to give you money. Then I'd be much more willing to answer the door. Until that day, however...I'll remain alone in my dark room, creeping out the window at the top of people's heads.

Secret #18

2010-05-24T11:44:00.004-06:00

It snowed today. Some guy was whistling "O Holy Night" waiting for the elevator outside my office. Happy...Christmas?

Kagan and I had our engagement pictures taken this last Saturday. Our photographer is Whitney Lewis and she is AMAZING.

Want to know who else is an amazing photographer? My sister. She's fantastic. Check it out.

I have such a great family. :)

I hear wedding bells ringing...

2010-04-24T01:33:00.004-06:00

You have no idea how long I've been keeping this in.

I'M ENGAGED!!

I would post pictures on here, but my computer has some retardation problems, so here are some links:

Here's a picture of my ring straight on, and here's one from the side.

Here's the setup where he proposed.

Incredibly happy.

The day he proposed started out as one of the worst days I'd had in a long time, but me made it one of the best days of my life. :) I love him!

Oh and for those of you who haven't already heard, Kagan Eden and I will be married on July 31, 2010 in the Manti Utah temple. We can't wait!

P.S. If you want to see all the pictures I posted for this, just click here.

P.P.S. I know many of you are probably thinking "Wait...weren't you going on a mission?" You are correct in thinking so. I had planned on going on a mission, but plans have changed. After much thought, prayer, and an overwhelming confirmation, I am confident that I have made the right decision, and that I'm going to be incredibly happy, married to my best friend. The Lord works in mysterious ways, but I'm glad He works things out the way he does! :)

Secret #18

2010-04-17T01:21:00.001-06:00

I've decided that when I have my first boy, his middle name will be

DANGER.

And I'm not even kidding.

Imagine the baby blessing in church.

Whirlwind

2010-04-10T00:57:00.002-06:00

This is life:

Whooooooooosh!!

At least, that's how it works for me.

My life is a whirlwind. And you know what?

I love it.

I cannot think of a time in my life when I have been happier than I am right now.

And it just keeps getting better.

Finals don't matter. Work doesn't matter. Plans don't matter. There's only one thing that does matter:

This is right. :)

Secret #17

2010-03-29T01:32:00.002-06:00

I haven't posted in a long time. I don't have much time these days with which to spend doing much else than being incredibly happy (and slightly conflicted, albeit) and not wanting my days to turn to nights, and back into days again.

Alas, the world continues turning, daytime becomes nighttime, the world waits for the sun to rise, and it comes alive again.

The other night I went to a concert featuring a fantastic artist named Tyrone Wells. It was wonderful, for many reasons, the following being one of them.

"We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul—We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things."
13th Article of Faith

Tyrone isn't LDS, although probably most of us who didn't know much about him thought he was, from the way he acted during the show, and even some of the things he said.

I do know, however, that some of the songs that man sang filled my soul with the Spirit of the Lord, even if he didn't mean it to. The songs weren't religious at all, just happy. His music just made you feel good, and that's my point.

Each of us has been blessed with the Light of Christ, no matter who you are. All that is good comes of the Lord. And he shone with a light of goodness and happiness, the Light of Christ, in a way that I loved. He was just one of those people who makes you want to be a better person.

Doesn't that just brighten your day?

Called to serve!!

2010-03-18T17:38:00.006-06:00

I'm going on a mission!

"Dear Sister Roeller,

You are hereby called to serve as a missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You are assigned to labor in the Philippines Bacolod Mission. It is anticipated that you will serve for a period of 18 months.

You should report to the Provo Missionary Training Center on Wednesday, June 2, 2010. You will prepare to preach the gospel in the Tagalog language."

These few sentences have and will change my life in ways that I cannot even imagine.

This is me, opening my mission call. This was the smallest I could get this image and it still won't fit on the page, so if you feel the need to watch it in all its glory, click HERE. The video is kind of long, beginning with waiting for David Neilsen to get there (which I'm still mad about, by the way :P ) and ends with me ending conversations with my family on the phone and learning how to say the name of my mission. The middle part is the best, though. The part where I read it.

Enjoy! :)

I hope they call me on a mission

2010-03-08T01:22:00.002-07:00

Only I don't hope I grow a foot or two before they do.

Update:

My papers are officially in! As in they are in Salt Lake, Church Headquarters, the real deal.

My bishop tells me that they issue the calls on Thursdays and then mail them out on Tuesdays. Most people in Provo get their calls on Wednesday. What does that mean for me?

It means that I could potentially have my call in my hand by March 17th--next Wednesday.

Could I be any happier?

Refer to the title of my blog for the answer to that question.

Secret #16

2010-02-25T01:30:00.000-07:00

I have probably 5-10 blog posts that I haven't published, just saved in my dashboard, which remain unpublished for various reasons.

Some I just can't think of how I want to phrase them. Some I have written out completely, but it just isn't the right time to post them. Some I started to write, but then went back and realized it was total garbage, but I can't bring myself to delete all that hard work. And some I thought about the fact that I wanted to write them, jotted down the general idea, but I just can't bring myself to actually write them out.

I've thought a lot about what the hardest thing to leave behind will be when I'm on my mission. I've thought of books, my movies, my music, my friends, my family, my shoe collection, my non-missionary clothes, my phone, my computer, etc...but I think I've got it figured out. I think it will be the fact that I won't be able to call my mom, whenever I want, to tell her something, to ask her a question, or just to talk. I'll miss her. Going on a mission will be worth it, but that doesn't make it any easier to leave it behind.

Nailed

2010-02-20T20:39:00.004-07:00

So today I competed in my very first open ballroom competition. I danced in the Novice level, which consists of waltz and quickstep, and in the Pre-Champ level, which consists of waltz, tango, fox trot, and quickstep.

Considering the conditions (my partner and I have only been dancing together for a month, and in that month I've learned all four dances, and especially that i FINISHED learning the fox trot and the tango routines *this week*), we did okay. Not great, but okay. I'm considering it a practice round, because it was my first time competing. Next up: Nationals, in one month. Crazy!

Now to the real point of this post. Because of my competition, I put on fake nails. I hate wearing fake nails. They're completely debilitating. It's taken me twice as long to write this post because I can hardly type. I've moped and moaned about them all day, and I just discovered a major upside to these nails.

I started to take my hair out (not literally out, but I had it in a fancy updo, and that's what I was taking out), and then I started brushing it out with my fingers. And that's when I discovered it: the best feeling in the world is fake fingernails on your scalp. Especially when your hair has been glued to your head all day. It's heavenly.

Thank you, Heavenly Father, for giving me these fake nails, and then giving me the opportunity to see the bright side of things.

*I just noticed another good thing about these nails. I love the clicking sound they make when I use the track pad on my computer. :)

Secret #15

2010-02-18T19:22:00.008-07:00

Things that are funny when they're happening to someone else, but not so funny when they're happening to you:
1) Running while wearing a backpack.

2) Trying to push open a door, only to realize that you're supposed to pull it.

a) Expecting a door to be really heavy and pulling on it really hard, only to have it fly open.

3) Getting locked out of your apartment while it's raining and you have class in 15 minutes

4) Finding out that something went wrong at work and having to be the one to tell your boss.

5) Finding out that all your life you thought a word was pronounced one way, only to find that you've been saying it wrong your whole life. And finding out by saying it wrong in front of someone.

6) Falling asleep in class and either doing the head bob, or waking up by majorly jumping.

7) Forgetting the teacher's name when you're saying the prayer in class.

8) Being on a horribly awkward date.

9) Wearing high-water pants.

10) Running out of ideas for your list on a blog post.

Many of these have happened to me recently. It's a good thing I have such a good sense of humor, and that I like to make other people laugh. :)

Ugg...ly

2010-02-14T17:25:00.003-07:00

Why is it that every single girl who wears Ugg boots walks exactly the same way?

I found myself walking in a rather deserted part of campus with a girl wearing Uggs right behind me. The only thing I could hear were her footsteps, and every single one of them ground at my brain like a belt sander on my eardrums.

Maybe it's because my mom always taught me never to drag my feet when I walk. Whenever there's snow on the ground, I look back at my footsteps to make sure that my footprints are just of my foot, and not of my foot plus a tail (like that of a comet) behind it. Uggs seem to be the main culprit of this heinous offense. I'm pretty sure that most female Ugg-wearers spend more time with their foot connected to the ground than off of it when they're taking a step. It's the dragging sound that really gets to me.

Writing about it simply doesn't do it justice. You can only understand if you've actually heard it. If you go to BYU, you've certainly heard it. Even though Uggs went out of the main style scene (at least to my knowledge) a long time ago, they seem to be a staple of all of those Belmont dwelling, Mercedes Benz driving, half a pea for dinner eating, $350 jeans wearing, perfume overwhelming, plastic looking girls we're all too familiar with. I'm fairly certain I've never been affiliated with those girls, nor do I see it happening in the future.

Another thing that I've noticed about Uggs is that they make it very apparent that the wearer either walks on the extreme outsides or the insides of her feet. After time, the sides of the boot just start to wear down...well, see for yourself:

Why, world, why?

We must band together, and stop this insanity.

Secret #14

2010-02-14T00:50:00.000-07:00

Wearing pants that actually fit me is still an anomaly. I have two pairs now that fit me, and every time I get dressed in the morning, it's like I've never had pants that fit before in my life.

Secret #13

2010-02-10T01:57:00.003-07:00

I'm really, really good at B.S.ing about things I have no idea about (say, for example, parental involvement in speech and language therapy. Not like I wrote a paper on it this week or anything).

But I am, apparently, completely incapable B.S.ing about anything I am remotely interested in or knowledgeable about (say, for example, the reintroduction of wolves in Yellowstone and the northern Rockies and the repercussions that it has on that ecosystem. Not like I just finished writing a paper on it that was due at midnight yesterday and it is currently 2am the day *after* the paper was due).

Just saying.

Secret #12

2010-02-05T09:38:00.004-07:00

I've had writer's block lately, but in a weird way.

I've got plenty of things to write about, I just can't for the life of me write it in a way that I think is good enough to let even one person read, let alone the entire WWW (World Wide Web). Last night I wrote a post and it took me about a half hour (typical for me. I usually reread and edit about 4 or 5 times). I went back and read it...garbage! The same thing has happened for the past week or so. I write an entire blog post, and then go back and read it, only to cast it aside in dismay.

I'm really hoping this crappy writing spree ends this weekend, before I have to turn in two papers next week. Either that, or I'll spend all weekend writing and rewriting til I finally get it right.

Actually, now that I think about it, I'd probably do that either way.

Secret #11

2010-02-05T01:20:00.004-07:00

I haven't worn makeup for probably 2 weeks (excluding Sundays and my dance competition this week).

I've actually really enjoyed it.

Secret #10

2010-01-29T00:48:00.001-07:00

I think if you have Facebook, you stalk people. It's just a fact of life.

Sometimes...I stalk myself.

Advice on Torturing

2010-01-23T20:57:00.002-07:00

I love giving talks in church. I really, really do.

But would you like to know how to torture me?

Give me a topic (say, the importance of family) that is nearly impossible to relate to single, 20's college students, and ask me to give a talk on it.

I can't speak about something I'm not passionate about. I just can't. And it's not that I'm not passionate about my family, because I am.

But it seems that all the stuff in the scriptures, on lds.org, and in every General Conference talk and lesson book that I can get my hands on is about getting married (something I refuse to talk about), raising a family (something that no one in my ward is doing, minus the members of the bishopric), and spending time with family (something nearly impossible for most of us to do, seeing as we're at college and not anywhere near our families). It seems so unnecessary to lecture anyone in my ward about getting married--we get that enough at BYU, and definitely to talk to them about raising children, because none of us have children!

I've spent hours upon hours on this talk. It's not getting anywhere.

Wish me luck tomorrow.

Scars

2010-01-21T19:47:00.008-07:00

A line from one of my favorite songs recently is:

"Covered with scars I did nothing to earn.
Maybe somewhere there's a lesson to learn."

I think there's so much, just in that.

I've always loved having scars. I have one on my wrist that I'm particularly fond of, and one on my knee as well. They've all got stories behind them. I have one on my finger from when a friend sliced me with a razor blade while we were scraping paint off a board in high school. I have one just next to my eye where my dog bit me when I was little. I have one just under my eyebrow that helps me to know where my brow line goes when I pluck my eyebrows. The list goes on.

However, I think at some point in our lives, we all feel that we have scars we did nothing to earn. Sometimes, bad things just happen to good people. It's one of life's great mysteries.

I've blogged about this many times. You've read them before. It's nothing new. Find a way to be happy. Look for the good in things. Trust in the Lord. Have faith.

I'm not sure that I know of a new way to write it. Maybe later in the week I'll come across an experience that allows me to relate the idea somehow, and then I'll write about it.

But for now, I can't help but think of those scars. I never asked for them, but got them anyway. The problem with scars is, they never go away. Sure, they may fade a bit over time, but they're always with you. You can always see it, and sometimes you can even still feel it. And there's the irony.

I love being able to see and feel my physical scars. However, I could do without those others, but they seem to be the ones that we all feel and see the most. The trick is, finding a way to stop cutting the wound back open. All it does is make a deeper scar, in the end.

I hate sad blog posts. I hate whiney blog posts, and I hate blog posts that make me feel pathetic.

Looks like I hate this blog post.

And the verdict is...

2010-01-19T23:36:00.003-07:00

Well, I saw the specialist today. He didn't really tell me much I didn't already know...he showed me a model of a skull and how the jaw bone works, then took an x-ray of my jaw.

Your jaw bone/joint sits in a groove in your skull, and some people have a much narrower groove than others. I happen to be one of those people, so my jaw bone can slip out of the groove more easily than it does for some others.

The diagnosis is that I just need to rest and let my joint heal, so I still have to eat soft foods and not open my mouth wide. Along with this, I have to alternate ice and heat on my joint for 2 hours every day, and he gave me a prescription to help lessen the inflammation, which is what's causing most of my discomfort. After taking them this afternoon, my jaw felt a lot better, and much more natural than it has since the dislocation, which is definitely a good thing. It's still hard to chew, and I think it'll be a few weeks before I can see a dentist for my papers, but at least it's not months. So now I just have to be patient and careful.

Update

2010-01-17T14:17:00.003-07:00

Well faithful readers (all three of you), I guess it's time for me to tell you what's going on.

On Thursday night, I dislocated my jaw. It happened while I was yawning; don't fret yourself about you yawning and dislocating your jaw, though: I've had problems with my jaw for awhile now, and I've dislocated it before, but this time was worse than it had ever been. My entire jaw bone had popped out of both sockets, and I could feel that my jaw bones had moved into my upper cheeks. My roommate took me to the hospital, my mouth gaping wide open, and she didn't even make fun of me once, bless her heart.

We got to the Emergency Room, me with a towel over my mouth, and my roommate telling them what happened to me, seeing as I couldn't talk. We waited for about 20 minutes, they got me into a room, put me under, and relocated it while I was out. They had to put me under because my muscles were spasming so much, which is really the only thing that made the dislocation painful. When it first happened, it didn't hurt at all, and was more scary than anything, because I couldn't fix it like I'd been able to do before, but the longer it was stuck open, the more my muscles spasmed, and the more it hurt.

None of the doctors in the ER had ever seen anything like it. I had probably 3 or 4 doctors come in and feel my jaw, just because they had never seen it happen to anyone, and there were probably 5 or 6 nurses who just came in looking shocked.

So, my state as of this moment is that I'm not in much pain, just a bit of discomfort. I can open my mouth just wide enough to see about a finger's width of space between my teeth, and I can only eat soft foods, which has proved to be quite a challenge for me. I've craved steak, pizza, Costa Vida, burritos, Taco Bell, cookies, and the list goes on. Just about anything you can chew, I'd love to eat it but can't. I have an appointment with an Oral Maxillofacial surgeon on Tuesday, and he will be able to tell me more about the situation. From what little I know, however, my jaw will never be the same. The surgeon can give me some treatments that can help some, but now that I've dislocated it as bad as I have, I'm much more susceptible dislocating it again. In essence, I just have to be really careful what I do with my jaw for...the rest of my life.

I will post more again on Tuesday or Wednesday once I know more about the situation, but I thank all of you for your prayers and your help through all of this. It will more than likely delay my papers for a bit, which has been hard for me to deal with, but I will go when the Lord wants me to go. This was obviously something He wanted me to take care of before I left, and He knows best, so I'm just going to trust in Him and He will lead me through.

Secret #9

2010-01-14T21:42:00.003-07:00

I own more articles of clothing that were made and intended for little boys than I do pairs of jeans that actually fit me, textbooks for this semester, or doctors who helped me in the emergency room tonight.

Secret #8

2010-01-10T23:35:00.004-07:00

I was talking to a friend today about soul mates...

And how they don't exist.

What we ended up deciding is that who you end up with just comes down to luck, really.

And that's when I realized that that's why so many 18 year-old girls get married at BYU:

Beginner's luck.

Secret #7

2010-01-09T18:03:00.012-07:00

Have you ever received (or seen) a text such as this?

"Its cool sou like ball thats cool soil b29 nov7th im waitin4a job2 open up@ the u of u fora cardiology tech soi quit my job awhile back when my sister n her hubby hada baby he had2 go back2 work right away soi helped her outa lot soi live with my parents i had2 move ini couldnt afford rent without workin while i took care of my sis n her baby she was not well@ having ethan soi had2b their alot but alls good now soim hanging out waiting4a job2 open up iluv2b active workout camping dancing im gonna start taking acting classes iluv2 watch tv movies funny movies spooky ones2 iluv boating i wanna geta 4 wheeler really bad iluv2 talk alot get2 know other people get2 gether witha buncha people ndo whatever just hangout tell me@u"

(This is an actual text, copied from a blog that I read. I will not attempt to translate it.)

Or, how about some of these "cookie cutter texts" I found on a website?

"D thief stole a calNdA . He got 12 Mths" (The thief stole a calendar. He got 12 months)

"yday I seen ur splitting img, he/she lOkd jst lk U!!!!" (Yesterday I seen (yes, seen) your spitting image, he/she looked just like you!!1superfluous exclamation points!!)

"wht doez a 6T year old mn wair boxrz or briefz ? depends" (This one is supposed to be a joke, apparently. It says: "What does a 60 year-old man wear, boxers or briefs? Depends." This one really gets me, and with one simple word: wair. WAIR.)

Or, perhaps you've seen something like this, on popular networking sites like Facebook, MySpace, or Twitter:

"GRUDGeS aRe a wasTe Of tRuE haPpInEsS (LAUGH) wHeN u CAN aND ApOlOgIzE wHeN u sHOuLd AND *****LET***** Go oF wHatEvER U CANT cHaNG3 LoVe DeePLy aNd fORgive aUiCKlY...take CHANCES..(GIvE) EVERYTHING..AND HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO *REgReTs* LifE is waY tO shOrT tO bE UNHAPPY..tAkE In The gOod wIth tHE baD anD (smil3) WheN uR saD lOVE wHat U geT aNd alWayS rEmeBeMBR wHat U had...U sHOuLD aLwaYS fORgive But NeVer fORgeT LeaRN fROm ur MIsTakES...pEOplE cHaNGe AND tHIngS gO wRonG bUt aLwaYS remeMbeR liFe GoeS on...sO lAUgh ouT loUd anD loVe wiTh aLL uR ♥ AnD NevEr TAke ANyTHinG for GranTeD."

I think that's enough. That one is also real, by the way, and it's only about a tenth of the entire paragraph/run-on sentence written by this girl. However, I had to copy it on here by hand; it only took me about 20 minutes. I think the girl who wrote it had her epileptic little brother press the shift key at random when she was typing. Speaking from experience, this is certainly NOT the most convenient, easy, or natural way to type. Why anyone would willingly choose to do it is so far beyond me, I have absolutely no hope to ever understand it.

Another of these fads that I don't understand is adding letters to words that don't change the way the word sounds. For example:

activeeee (active)

friendddd (friend)
crazzzzy (crazy)

gayyy (gay)

You notice that these letters are often at the ends of words. There are a lot of possibilities, but my brain hurts just coming up with those three words.

Along the same lines, people will add letters to the word that actually would change the way it sounds, but apparently those letters don't actually change the sound of the word:

Yessssss

Hollaaaaaa

Woooooooooot

Another trend I don't seem to understand is the shift from pluralizing a word with the letter 's' to doing it with a 'z'. When did this happen? More importantly, who decided it was okay?? (E.G. LOLZCATZ)

This next trend, I'll have to admit, I was once a part of. It's the "lol" trend. For those who read this blog and don't know what it means (aka my mom), 'lol' stands for 'laughing out loud', and is yet another texting/chatting lingo that should be banned. It's overused, and hardly ever used in a context where laughing out loud would actually be something happening in the situation. For example, a Facebook status from an unnamed friend of mine: "[Name] says: If anyone knows someone leavin back for provo after christmas let me know! I need a ride back to school!! Lol. :)" I hardly doubt this person would be laughing out loud if he/she couldn't find a ride back to school. It just doesn't fit with the context of the sentence or topic at all. I think 'lol' has become the 'like' or 'um' of the texting world. Don't know what to say? Can't think of something witty? No worries, you have an easy solution. Just respond with "Lol," it works every time.

Wrong.

And people wonder why their kids can't spell, write (like a normal human being), communicate, or graduate from high school.

Secret #6

2010-01-06T18:38:00.000-07:00

I hate crowded places.

This isn't claustrophobia. Places like elevators don't bother me.

It's the crowd in and of itself that bothers me. This is the same reason I hate driving in Provo (or most places in general), pushing the cart in the grocery store, or just the grocery store all together. If there's an aisle I need to go down, but there are three or four (or more) people in said aisle, even if I am without a cart, I will skip the aisle and come back later.

A few days ago Sam and I went to the grocery store. I especially hate the grocery store during the first week of any semester, because the shelves are devoid of everything you need, and there are a million people there. I, against my own will, went into a row to get a bag of bagels. There were 5 people in this half-the-length-of-a-normal-row row. I got in there, grabbed the first bag of bagels I saw, and literally pushed people out of my way to get out of there. Sam tried to ask me something as this all happened; at least that's what she told me afterward. I have no recollection of it ever happening. I was too focused on getting in, getting out, and having to touch as few people as possible in the process.

The north hall of the JSB (at least, right after my New Testament class) is the absolute worst. It makes me feel like I'm in a German cattle car in the 1940s. I can't get out of there fast enough.

I really don't know what it is. I just hate crowds.

Secret #5

2010-01-05T01:10:00.004-07:00

Sometimes, I forget to breathe.

That sounds like a cheesy line from a sappy chick flick.

But really, it is how it sounds. A lot of times when I dance, I'm concentrating, and realize after I finish that I'd been holding my breath for much of it. Today, I noticed on at least 3 occasions that I would say something to someone and at the end of the last word take a big gulp of air, and then, for some unknown reason, hold my breath.

It's not like I hold my breath so long that I'd pass out or anything. It's just weird to catch yourself not breathing.

The last 2 years

2010-01-04T00:43:00.003-07:00

I've had my computer for 2 years now.

The main thing I do with my computer is listen to music; I'm the kind of person who always has music playing.

Today, I did a little math. I have listened to various songs 38,541 times (as of this very moment, although I'm currently listening to music, and that number is steadily increasing) in the last 2 years. And that doesn't count the hundreds, if not thousands of songs that I listened to most of but skipped the last 10 seconds, songs from my ipod, songs I listened to while practicing dance, and the probably hundreds (again, if not thousands) of songs I've listened to on YouTube and Pandora. So, we'll round up to 40,000, which is probably a great underestimation (as noted by my roommate, who experiences this music playing), but we'll go with it.

There are 730 days in 2 years. Do the math, and that's just under 55 songs a day. We'll say an average song is 3 and a half minutes long. If that assumption is correct, that means that on average, every one of my days in the past 2 years has included 3.208 hours of music in it. That's only 13% of my day. However, think about it:

We'll assume that I spend 7 hours sleeping. That's 29% of my day right there, in which music cannot be a part.

We'll also assume that I spend roughly 4 hours a day in classes, during which I can't listen to music. That's 17%.

All together, those equal 46%. Nearly half of my day is spent doing things where listening to music isn't an option.

I also just realized that I spend roughly 6 hours a week practicing dance, if not more. We'll add enough to make it 4.5 hours.

I work 20 hours a week, and I usually spend 90% of my time there listening to music. That adds 2.9 hours to the number.

7.4 hours spent listening to music out of 24 hours in a day is 31%, and 7.4 our of 13 (24 minus the hours spent sleeping and in class) is 57%.

Fifty-seven percent* of my available time is spent listening to music.

I do not have a problem with this.

*Not a definite number. May actually be more or less; my guess would be more.

The Shower

2009-12-29T15:41:00.002-07:00

Think about it. The shower really is a sort of secret world.

You never really see anyone else shower (hopefully), so you don't really know what anyone else does in the shower. I mean, obviously they bathe themselves and get clean, but, for example, what order do they do it in?

I've thought about this many times while in the shower. I have a natural routine, and can't imagine doing it any other way. First off, I'm not the kind of person who gets in the shower and then turns the water on. If you do that, you run the risk of getting sprayed by freezing cold water--not high on my list of things I want to do. So, I turn the water on, get in when it's the appropriate temperature, and get myself completely wet. Then, I wash my hair, leaving the shampoo in my hair to sit while I wash my body, starting with my neck and moving down my body. I rinse off both body and hair, put conditioner in my hair, and let it sit while I wash my face. Then I rinse it all off, and get out. This is the only way that feels right to me.

However, I'm sure you do it differently. And I will never know. And that, my friends, is why the shower is your own secret world.

You could be doing it wrong, but is there really a right way? Who's to say? To you, whatever you do in the shower is the right way to do it. And no one is going to convince you otherwise.

Secret #4

2009-12-15T19:46:00.002-07:00

Sometimes I like to do things the hard way.

For example, sometimes** I enter things (like into spreadsheets in excel, printing a bunch of envelopes, etc) into the computer by hand.

Maybe I just don't trust the computer to do it right (or my ability to tell the computer how to do it right), but I think its more to validate myself, to feel like I can accomplish something without the need to use some fancy mechanical technological whing-dingy dealie-bob (say that 10 times fast). I just like to do stuff on my own.

**By sometimes I mean if I can get away with doing it while at work, and always when I'm at home.

Secret #3

2009-12-13T22:47:00.004-07:00

Words to the song "Silent Night":

Silent night, holy night.
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon virgin, mother and child.

When I was little, I thought there was a period after bright. Which meant, in my head, that "yon virgin" was round.

Which confused me, because I thought that Mary was supposed to be "fair." It just didn't make sense.

When did I realize what it really meant?

Probably sometime in high school, if not later.

Kids

2009-12-11T22:29:00.005-07:00

Instead of studying tonight, I started blog surfing. It seems that most blogs out there are for families to post pictures of their kids on, and especially for people who've just had babies. Strangely enough, I've come across a lot of blogs about people who are infertile. It doesn't seem like something I'd blog about, but whatever floats your boat. Oh, and along with the baby blogs, it seems like all the other ones are Asian teenagers, mostly girls.

I am not a part of any of these qualifiers. Should I stop blogging?...

At any rate, I've learned a few things.

One of my biggest fears is that I'll have ugly kids. Qualities I hope my children don't have:

1) Razor teeth. Some kids just look like they could rip you to shreds and eat you alive. Those kids scare the crap out of me.

2) Big heads. Some kids have the most gigantic heads! And tiny little bodies. It's just not right.

3) As a subset of 2, I hope my babies don't have weirdly shaped heads. Some babies have the sideways cone head, or gigantic protruding foreheads...this one isn't as important cuz some kids grow out of that, but...yeah.

Ok so maybe I'm a little harsh. I just want cute kids. It's kind of a crapshoot, really. Some of the most beautiful people I know have the ugliest kids, and vice versa.

And I'm pretty sure I'm just saying things that all of you are thinking, you just don't want to say. But that's what I'm good at.

Secret #2

2009-12-08T17:21:00.002-07:00

Fact 1: I live in a town house, and it has 3 levels. Heating this thing is a nightmare. The top floor gets really hot, the middle floor is pretty cold, and the basement is freezing. I've complained to myself about how much it costs to heat this place for awhile, as well as the fact that I don't get to use my winter quilt because it gets really hot upstairs.

Fact 2: My apartment has 3 bathrooms. One on the main floor, and 2 that connect to the bedrooms upstairs.

The connection I made between the two today: I may have complained about how it's hot upstairs, but it's so much better to sit down on a warm toilet seat than a freezing cold one, especially when you just come in from the cold.

Get to the chopper!

2009-12-08T03:03:00.003-07:00

Somehow my old job has managed to remove me as an author on their blog, but still hasn't terminated me.

I really couldn't care less except for the fact that it makes it so I can't see my time card for my new job, which is really getting old. So, if you work at the Math Lab, give someone a hard time for me about not terminating me yet. It can be your Christmas present to me.

Happy Holidays.

Secret #1

2009-12-07T00:23:00.004-07:00

This is the beginning of an experiment. Sometimes I just don't know what to write, but I really want to write. I have a friend who has "confessions" on her blog, so I've decided to do secrets of my own. While I can't promise any of them will be juicy, or used to blackmail me, or even interesting, maybe you'll glean just a small part of who I am from it. So, here goes.

Secret #1

I've never cried in a movie.

I don't plan on it ever happening, either.

I've never cried during a play, concert, or any other activity of that sort.

It's not that I'm a heartless rock, although I have considered the possibility. Perhaps I can realize the fact that the characters in the movie are usually fictional. I'm not really sure what it is.

And there you have it. My first secret.

Don't touch that door.

2009-12-02T18:39:00.001-07:00

I'm not a feminist by any stretch of the imagination.

But sometimes, I just want to open my own door.

Is that bad?

A Bathroom Saga

2009-11-23T19:17:00.003-07:00

[flush]

I wash my hands.

I go to dry my hands off.

I reach for the towel, and watch as it knocks a roll of toilet paper off the top of the toilet and head right for the waiting toilet bowl.**

Do you ever see something happening, but do nothing about it because you know that even though you are watching it happen right before your eyes, your reflexes just aren't fast enough to keep it from happening?

Welcome to my life.

**Note: luckily, roll of toilet paper hits edge of toilet seat just right and lands on floor. Phew.

Wait...what?

2009-11-19T19:28:00.000-07:00

It's funny, the misconceptions we have as children.

I've discussed this with a few people lately, and I'd like to share my findings.

This all started when I thought about the things that I always thought were characteristics of every family simply because it was how it was in my family. For example:

-I thought that the Dad was always older than the Mom.

-I thought that while the Dad was older than the Mom, your parents were still the same age.

Why did I think these things? Because that's how my parents are. My Dad is only a few months older than my Mom. When I found out that some people's parents were different ages, and especially when I found out that their Mom was older than their Dad, it really freaked me out. Even to this day, it's hard for me to fathom marrying a man younger than me. The age difference thing has lost its potency to me, but only because I've always dated guys who were older than I am.

I was discussing this with a coworker the other day and he told me about an experience he'd had as a child. Growing up in a Mormon family, it was always understood that you didn't play outside on Sunday. You just didn't do it. Apparently, one Sunday his neighbors were out playing in their yard. And bless his little heart, Michael went outside and reprimanded them, because that's what he had always known.

Along the same vein (vane? not sure which it is), it's always funny to watch movies not made for children (I'd originally put "adult movies" and decided that might not be the best descriptor...) that I watched as a child. I realize now how much I didn't get back then. And strangely, there's some stuff I still don't get just because I didn't get it as a child. The movie Mission: Impossible still baffles me a little bit, because I just didn't really know what was going on when I watched it as a child. There are a lot of movies like that.

I think that's all I have. I'm sitting in the library, putting off the paper I have to write and test I need to study for. I'm sitting in the loudest part of the library, but I'm here because there are comfy chairs. The chairs are worth the prices paid: loud people, and I'm by these huge windows, which means I'm freezing cold. But at least I'm comfortable. That's what's important.

On Thanksgiving

2009-11-16T22:03:00.004-07:00

I can tell it's about Thanksgiving time.

How?

It's not the Christmas decorations filling every store and building on campus.

It's not the Christmas music played by all my coworkers.

It's not the changing of the seasons from Fall to Winter.

It's not the falling leaves all around, or the frosty mornings, or the occasional snow fall.

It's not the irresistible urge to gorge myself on turkey, potatoes, gravy, stuffing, cranberries, corn, and pumpkin pie.

It's not the cornucopia of activities available for me to do (that was a play on words: double meaning right there).

It's not the ending of the Football season, nor the start of Basketball season.

It's the fact that I can't seem to bring myself to do any homework at all.

The BFG

2009-11-12T00:24:00.005-07:00

Whenever I walk on campus, I see people who are shorter than me. Being nearly 6 feet tall, this isn't hard for me. However, sometimes I'll see those girls (usually) who are practically 5 foot nothing, and whenever I do, I always think,

"Man, that girl is so small!!"

Then today I realized: I wonder if when those girls see me, they think,

"Man, that girl is gigantic!!"

I wouldn't be offended if they did--it's true.

Touch me!

2009-11-05T11:56:00.001-07:00

I think I have a curse.

Something about me attracts couples. That alone could be bad enough, but these are always couples who just can't seem to keep their hands off of each other. I really am a bit baffled as to why and how these people seem to find their way to me.

For example, on Halloween I went to a friend's party. There were not very many couples there--maybe one or two. At least one. How do I know? There were probably 50 party-goers crammed in a living room about 15 feet by 10 feet, if that. Because there were so many of us in such a small room, pretty much everyone was touching a different person on all sides, which meant none of us could really move much. For some reason, I managed to end up having an entire half of my body being taken up by this couple determined to essentially grind on each other...and in turn, on me. So, as was natural, I moved. Don't worry, they found their way back to me! This happened probably a good 3 or 4 times.

Maybe I just naturally ooze pheromones that only affect those already in a relationship? Perhaps this pheromone of mine heightens the high of their already raging hormones. It remains a mystery.

Either way, as I said the other night, I just make people want to touch each other. I didn't ask for it. But I'm trying to find a way to make it work to my advantage...if you think of anything, let me know.

Time wasting.

2009-11-03T23:32:00.006-07:00

We all do it. Maybe I'm just prejudiced to the ways in which I do it. Most of my time-wasting is spent listening to music, Facebooking, playing Nonograms, or generally just not thinking about what I'm supposed to be doing (usually homework). Currently, I'm blog writing to waste time.

Maybe I just don't like being part of fads. I only ever read Twilight because I was on a camping trip and hadn't brought anything to read with me, and someone had it with them. But something in me just refuses to do everything everyone else is doing (Harry Potter excluded), even if it's entertaining. For example, there's a website called "My Life is Average." These kinds of websites have been springing up all over the Interweb, where there is a common theme (F My Life has people who have crappy things happen to them, Makes Me Think has people who have inspirational or ironic things happen to them, etc.), they're all set up to look exactly the same, only with a different color scheme. For some reason, these sites have become very popular, especially among high school and college students.

And I just can't bring myself to read them, at least not consistently. I read FML for a little while. I read a few MMT's, and I'd spent a fair amount of time on MLIA. But, while they may be slightly entertaining, I have no desire to use them to waste my time. Perhaps it's the idea that some people can and do waste SO much time on these sites that makes me not want to.

Am I a time-wasting snob? Should I be worried about my prejudices toward these things?

I don't think so. I have enough with my current time-wasting habits, like blog writing, to worry about the *potential* time wasters. At least you get something out of it. :)